You shouldn’t get married!!!

I know, as someone who doesn’t believe marriage, I talk about marriage a waaayyy too much, but whatever, this is my blog. :D

Two days ago, one of my best friends called me in the middle of the night and mumbled in her crying, “I broke up.” And after long conversation about how she wasn’t supposed to be with him at the first place, she yelled at me, “Gosh! Everyone said that! And why didn’t everyone tell mew long time ago?”
“Coz you were still with him. And it’s not appropriate.”
“But friends should tell everything.”
“Nope, friends tell you what you want to hear. Friends support you even it was impossible thing to do. Friends always believe in you. And we somehow wished that we could believe you.”
I knew that she was a lucky girl who happened to be brave enough to cut off her relationship even though everyone said “Your boyfriend is so nice. He’s a good guy, etc, etc…” I understand that we don’t love somebody because they’re nice or good. We love somebody despite of!
So, that call reminds me of the book/movie “He’s just not that into you!” which show how naïve women are, and we really should change, girls!!
It’s time for tough love!

You shouldn’t get married, if these words ever occurred to your mind at least twice:

  1. Does he really love me? If he really loves you sincerely, you won’t ever question him or his love. Trust me. I’m very sure about that.
  2. We’ve already been in this relationship for too long. I’m too lazy to start over a new relationship.
    Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you have to stay in it even though you knew you didn’t love him anymore. You’ve tried so hard to make yourself fall in love with him again, but you keep failing, but you deny it to leave your comfort zone. If it wasn’t working then, and it’s not working now, then it will NEVER work. Leave your comfort zone (relationship) for good.
  3. Will he ever cheat again? (If your boyfriend ever cheated.)
    If you’re living with a paranoid mind that he will cheat again if you didn’t call him 24/7 or be with him 24/7, then you’ll live with it for the rest of your life. You’ll always be nauseous every time he goes with his friends or meet new clients, and girls, it’s not healthy at all. And the more you imagine it, the real it’s gonna be. Shame on him if he fools you once, shame on you if he fools you twice! So, if you think that you won’t ever trust him again, leave him.
  4. Everyone would be so jealous to know I marry a rich/handsome guy!
    Get real, He won’t always be rich and he won’t always be handsome. But YOU could be always smart! So, start being smart now by leaving him.
  5. I know that he would change when we get married.
    Whatever he does, is it hitting, abusing, cheating, lying, possessive, and other things he said he would change.
    No, he won’t! And you will say “I married with the wrong reason” some years from now if you’re still marrying him for that reason.
  6. I’m old. I have too tie the knot soon. Then you will grab anybody who’s also looking for marriage and get married and later you will keep questioning, “Why did I get  married?”

I know this kind of marriage work for some people, but I think 99% of them just keeping their marriage for their comfort zone, coz a kind of people who married with this reason, also kept the marriage with the same reason, “I don’t wanna be a widow when I’m this old”.

And 1% of them are just gorgeously lucky to find a true love in this way. :)

So far, those are what I have in mind. Feel free to comment, and if you think to add the list, just spit it out. :)

I will add some other too later, but now I’m hungry and my niece waits for me. :)


15 thoughts on “You shouldn’t get married!!!

  1. but then again mei, you got married when you both feel “steady”, inside and outside.. i am a cliche person that believes that marriage is a once in a lifetime deal. no NIKE tagline, a big no no for “just do it!” XD

  2. you are right about the six questions above…
    when people start thinking about all those things
    his/her relationship will not work, no matter how
    I admit this is a big issue that always happens in our society especially indonesia
    But it depends how you see a problem. you start questioning. have you ever try to find the solution?
    if yes. may be compromise becomes next.
    I believe in a marriage
    because first of all, marriage is beautiful.
    having a family and always support you ( in my expectation) you learn how to take a responsibility and become mature.
    i hope the author and people all around the world never give up on marriages.
    it’s hard, tough , a lot of sacrifice and confusing
    but you have to see it from positive way.
    all things in this world have 2 sides of looks
    don’t always see it from the bad one
    if you stumble, try to wake up and find another way
    all problems have its own solution
    face it with smiling
    and when you put yourself at the end of the finish line, you realize this life is full of shit, drama, pain, sacrifice but HAPPINESS will occur.
    that is life and see it, face it, overcome it, and love it..


  3. I didn’t believe in LDR, Ban.
    But the hell, I did it anyway.

    You know why?
    Bcoz I knew, with you, every impossible things become so easy. :)

    I don’t believe in marriage, but I believe in you.

    P.S; I knew this post will make you nauseous. :D

  4. I’m agree with your blog may!
    kadang memank mikirin merid itu scary thing ya.. coz itu once in a life time, skali lo salah pilih pasangan hdp, hdp lo bakal berantakan..
    n memang dikit banget yg bisa merid sama org yg dy cintai, mgkn bukan 1% may, tp 0.01% hihihi.. pesimis banget y gw..
    soalnya mnrt gw, buat dapetin cinta itu perjuangannya berat, n ga smua org bisa survive.. n akhirnya ya gt, meridnya sama org yg ada di depan mata aja.. tanpa peduli ada cinta yg hadir at ga..
    ya mumpung qt baru umur 20an (huehehe, masi muda^^), mg2 qt bisa tetep usha buat cari cinta itu ye.. kayak lo ktemu bandi, cinta mati tah? hihi..
    jadi, waktu merid nanti, ga akan ada penyesalan..

  5. @sabrina: Of course not a nike tagline, nor adidas’ “impossible is nothing”. Krn kalo iya, ga ada tuh orang putus krn beda agama. hahaha

    @Lita:And they make a great drama. Guess God is a big fan of drama movies. :D

    @pepei: Yep yep yep!
    But sharing wisdom,, cinta itu bukan perjuangan pei. Cinta itu kemauan. :)

  6. well,may…
    all I can say is I’m still in the middle of being a believer or non-believer.
    I’ll tell u why..

    because… naturally we -human- can’t live all alone..
    we need our pair, coz u’ll realize you’re not whole if you’re alone.
    but for me, marriage is always a big thing…
    it’s no something spontaneous coz it’s about my future.

    so I agree… you shouldn’t get married too soon…
    u really have to believe that he’s/she’s the one.
    u really have to know that u’ll be able to go through any kind of circumstances with that person

    manohara is the example if u get married too soon…

  7. hahahhaha,,pas baca pertama gw ga ngeh ya nyong,,,,gw mikir “temen baik mei yg mana ya yg kyk gt”
    n ternyataaa stlh gw baca2 amp bawah,,i just realized that was ………………………..

    gubrak deh mei,,thx anyway..hahaha

  8. “Marriage is a beautiful reality when you marry your best friend!” :) If you marry for romance, unrealistic expectations or expect the other to fill a void, it was the intention that failed, not the relationship. Often things stop working when we believe our thoughts which tell us ‘what is wrong?’… What if everything is right? ;) and the marriage is all about companionship and having fun — after all TWO are better than ONE ;) If its the right one, and there is maturity and loyalty, it is heaven on earth ;) I encourage you to still stay open to believe in marriage, hun. ;) ~Jen

  9. WOW..that no 6 is really for me…first of all I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m the kind of girl of watched too many romantic movies, I mean waaaaaaaayyyyyy too many so somehow I have this idea in my head that an ideal couple should be just in that movie….they should be creazy in love, with no money problems and not to mention they’re beautiful both man and the woman…. But guess what, life is not a movie..when you’re too busy looking for that perfect love at your young age you just relize that you just waste a lot of your time, then you get to that certain age where your sociaty and not to forget your parents and friends wants you to go to that next level and getting merried is the only way… And Hey!! Who said life is easy…it full of shit sometimes but we need to take that chances as human…they mey not the most handsome, the riches but if you believe that he/she care for you without being too creepy and change into this psyco controling, selfish then hey you should go for it..get merried..I don’t promise the happy ever after, but as human we’ve tried…and hey we can always divorce them….hahaha.. (P.S Love your writing may..:) )

  10. Pingback: The Vision and The Expectation « Sanguine's journal

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