Two weddings and one funeral


I don’t remember having a normal night when I don’t have any plans for the next day. My life has been in a fast lane this past one month.
I don’t remember waking up late because I have been putting all my energy for the most important day in my life: wedding days. In my case I have two wedding days. So please double all the rempongness and the energy consuming.
7 June was the best day ever in my life and then followed by the hangover and the prep for the next wedding (exactly one week after that)
Then, 14 june was a blast for both of our family. They called it as the happiest wedding of their lives. Well, Bandi and I were under influence of course and we went along with it. It was a typical Chinese wedding with so many people we didn’t know, but well, as long as both parents were happy, we were happy too. The next day after the second wedding, I woke up at 5 am in the morning to watch Azzuri’s first match against England and we won!!! I thought to my self, could my life be anymore awesome?! Yes it could!!! Because we were flying to Maldives in 2 hours!!! Woot woot!!!
Bandi had prepared our honeymoon: one week in Maldives.
Our route was: Palembang – Batam -Singapore – KL – Male – Maldives (Medufushi Resort)
It was still a long way and we were so tired, but we sucked it up because we knew we would have one week to just lazying around in our private water villa. I already packed sunglasses, sunblock, novels, and new bikinis. I was sooooo thrilled that we could finally spend some alone time together and oh how I planned to f**k hard. Lol. (FYI I was on my period on my wedding day 7th june and all along we always spent the night with either friends or family, so yeah we never had sexy time)
When we landed in Batam at 10am in the morning, Bandi called home because he had a bad feeling. And he was right…. His grandpa just passed away. 12 hours after the wedding.
I’m a bad person because the first thing crosses my mind was… I was upset because obviously the honeymoon was cancelled.
Bandi told the cab driver to return back to Batam airport after we dropped Angel (my bridesmaid) to the ferry harbor. We bought a ticket back to Palembang later that night.
He told me that he was sorry that we had to cancel our honeymoon and that he knew I was physically super tired and obviously needed rest and we both know how tiring Chinese funeral could be, but he said we had to do the right thing. Life is only once, and if we do it right, once is enough.
It took me only a couple of minutes to remember why I married him in the first place. I married him because he’s kind and wonderful and I realize I just wanna be with him, whether it’s in maldives or in a funeral home. I married him because he puts people he loves first before himself, and I love him for that.
So we flew back to Palembang that night and we went straight to the hospital. He broke down and cried. I just held his hand and I thought to myself, from this day forward I would dedicate my life just to make sure he’s fine and he would never face anything alone anymore.
Suddenly losing Maldives didn’t feel so hurtful anymore. Because I would never lose this amazing man beside me, who would sacrifice anything and do anything for his family.
Maldives will always be there. But we can never turn back the time to the day we say our last goodbye to the people we love. To the day he say goodbye to his grandpa, a man who technically a father figure in his life since Bandi’s dad passed away.
Life is short and it is funny and ironic sometimes.
We just danced happily on our wedding, and we received so many flower arrangements saying “congratulation on your wedding” and now just 24 hours later we cried and received another flower arrangements saying “deep condolences”
Ain’t life funny?
We could laugh sarcastically, but why should we be bitter, when we could just laugh along with it?
Yesterday afternoon his grandpa was finally buried and he said his last goodbye. It was very emotional for him and all I could do just be there… Just to hold his hand.
Tonight we will fly back to Singapore to take Bandi’s brother to hospital because he’s sick.
I hope everything will be fine eventually. So we made a vow to always be with each other for good times and bad times, and the bad times stroke first, so what?
As long as we’re together, nothing seem so bad anyway. :)

Death ends life, not relationship – Mitch Albom

Kisses,
May, Palembang 19 June 2014.

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42 thoughts on “Two weddings and one funeral

  1. Ikut sedih bacanya, May… :(
    Hidup kadang memang ajaib, ya. Pergerakan rodanya tak ada seorangpun yang tahu. Detik ini di atas, tak disangka2 detik berikutnya di bawah.
    Aku seneng baca jurnal ini, betapa jelas terbaca kalian saling mendukung dan menguatkan. Semoga selamanya, aamiin…

  2. Turut berduka May, gw kira u lagi asik honeymoon dr kmrn..
    semoga Bandi dan keluarga kuat yah dan tabah ngerelain kakeknya dipanggil.. gw jg pernah ikut prosesi pemakaman ala chinese yg agama Buddhist..kebayang repot dan capenya !
    next time bisa cuti lagi dan honeymoon ke maldives sm Bandi :)
    kata2 u bagus banget ttg mau mendedikasikan diri buat nemenin Bandi ngadepin apapun dlm hidupnya ! He’s a lucky guy to have you as his wife, and so do you of course :)

  3. Bandi and May, semoga keluarga yang ditinggal dikuatkan ya. Seneng banget ya, setidaknya kakek Bandi udah ngeliat moment penting di hidup bandi. Aku seneeeng banget baca postingan ini meski ngembeng ngembeng sedikit. Jujur banget yg kau bilang dlm hati mikir “yah ditunda nih ke maldivesnya’ dan kemudian kau ngeliat Bandi dan menyadari kalau yang terpenting itu dia, di manapun tempatnya yang penting bersama siapa. Dan yes, Maldives bisa menunggu

  4. Turut berduka Bandi nad May…. didalam kedukaan justru kamu melihat Bandi dan cintanya terhadap keluarga ya May. Bacanya antara sedih dan senang terharu…. Maldives bisa kapan2 ya May….

  5. I thought you were on honeymoon kak, makanya belum posting2 lagi. Eh taunya :'(
    Deep condolonces for ko Bandi and family, you too kak pasti ngerasa kehilangan juga.
    Yang tabah ya… Maldives ntar aja ngajak2 gue hehehe :P

  6. Very sorry to read today’s story. But, your quote “Death ends life, not relationship” is right, and sad as the loss may be, I’m sure the Maldives ( and intercourse) are still waiting for the two of you.

  7. So sorry for your lost, Bandi & May! I understand how hard it must be for Bandi, because I just went through the same thing with my Dad not so long ago. Please give my regards to Bandi, my thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

    Maldives and more grandeur adventures will always be there.

    • Angel, I read your story about your Dad. You know I always lost words whenever I read sad stories. i’m not good with these things. I was just so quiet during the whole funeral things. :(
      I just hope I could come up with some inspirational calming words but I couldn’t. :(
      Thank you yah Jel. :)

  8. Turut berduka cita ya may, semoga keluarga dikasih penghiburan & kesabaran… Tapi apa yg lu lewatin berdua bakal jd kenangan & bikin kalian lebih deket & kuat…. Didoain abis ini ngga cuma maldives tapi semua tempat yg pengen lu kunjungin bisa kesampean :)

  9. So beautifully written May, I think it is pretty hard situation and yes you are right, with you two together nothing will seem so bad :)
    Deep condolences for Bandi’s grandpa, I hope you two will have ur honeymoon soon

  10. Gw bangga May liat status2 lo di Path, ga salah pilih fave couple gw.. Bener May, Maldives selalu akan ada nunggu kalian berdua disana. Mau dimanapun selama berdua pasti bahagia terus kan.

    turut berduka yah May. Seneng lah Opa nya masih bisa lihat Bandi berbahagia dengan istrinya :)

  11. Deepest condolences to you and Bandi and the whole family. Jadi inget si Angela kejadiannya mirip ya. Honeymoon can wait, semuanya bisa diatur. Gue dulu kehilangan Oma gue 10 bulan sebelum gue nikah. Rasanya gimana gitu, karena dia selalu bilang kalau bisa masih pingin liat gue nikah, tapi rupanya sakit mengalahkan dia. Anggaplah kalian beruntung :)

    • Iya betul, I can always see the silver lining. At least Kung2 nya Bandi udah liat kita married dan bisa cerita ke Pho2 di surga sana tentang betapa happy nya anak2 dan cucu2 mereka. :)

  12. My condolences to you, Bandi and his family. Habis selesai kawinan aku dilarikan ke ICU pakai ambulance karena dengue, jadi gak ada ada honeymoon apalagi sexy time. Selama dirawat gw nyadar kalau gw bener-bener milih pria yang baik karena dia nemenin *sampai tidur di lantai rumah sakit*.

    So I am sure Bandi feels the same way.

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