Is everybody capable of falling in love?


I was sitting in the MRT train, on my way home from work. I was tired and it bugged me that I still had to do some house chores when I reached home. I sighed and then I received a text from someone and it instantly put back a smile on my face. I giggled because he gave me a reason to.

I looked up and there was somebody who stared at me, unhappily. If you don’t know this, in Singapore, people like to stare at other people who laugh, giggle or joke with their friends. I always remind myself not to care because we can’t always understand what other people have gone through on their life that they decided to become unhappy.

I get it. This world consists of so many types of people. Happy people, unhappy people, sad people, cheerful people, grumpy people, strong people, weak people, optimists, pessimists, realists, idealists…

But I was wondering… “Is everybody capable of falling in love?”

If love is a universal language, is everybody in this world capable to speak love?

If love is the most powerful thing in the Disney world, does everybody have the chance to acquire it?

I’ve known some people who have never fallen in love in their entire life. Is it because they didn’t find the one, or is it because they are not capable to love?

I didn’t mean “not capable to love” as a bad thing. It’s not because they have bad characters or attitudes because trust me, I’ve known a loooot of bad people who fell in love. By “not capable to love” I meant they don’t open their heart.

Imagine this scenario:

A man, let’s call him “A” has an introvert character. He didn’t like to go out and socialize. He lived his life studying and then graduated and then worked and then in some point his parents found a woman for him to marry and he married that woman. He had kids and then he grew old and he died. But he probably never fell in love, not because he was a bad person or anything. He just didn’t have the chance to fall in love.

Let’s change the scenario to this one:

After graduate, A worked in a office and his colleague was a sweet girl who had the same hobby with A. They talked all the time and they decided to hang out after work and since forever, A finally felt comfortable to talk with someone. He shared so many things with this woman and he fell in love. He asked her to marry him and she said yes. And they shared their lives.

See the point? Your life can be changed with just one moment.

But my question is… is everybody capable of falling in love?

What if A found this woman attractive but in the end he didn’t fall in love because he thought it would be easier just to marry the woman his parents chose? Because he thought falling in love was messy and full of trouble, so he chose not to. How if he resisted to love and spent the rest of his life not to ever love again?

He is NOT unhappy. He might be happy. But he also could be happier. Or is he?

I don’t know. I will never know.

But I really really wish that everyone in this world has the same chance to fall in love. It’s up to them to choose love or not to choose love, but at least I wish everyone has fair chance.

Because to fall in love is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Because to fall in love is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

And I wish wish wish wish wish everybody has fair chance.

Cheers,

May, the hopeless romantic.

38 thoughts on “Is everybody capable of falling in love?

  1. Sweet. And I of course join you in your ‘wish wish wish wish wish’ :).

    (I might add that happily falling in love may be quite an effort of endurance. For some it is too tough. They need more than ‘a fair chance’. Because really falling happily in love requires a reciprocal crush – which isn’t obvious at all. Sometimes it is hard work, perhaps too hard work. After a number of disappointments people may even stop trying, if only to protect themselves.)

    • Hi Jerry, I understand that. And I also understand that sometimes people stop trying and they end up unhappy. I can accept the world consisting happy and unhappy people, but at least they got a fair chance to fall in love at least once. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t want to try the second one.
      However it’s better to love and to lose than not ever love at all. Right? ;)

  2. Personally, I think everybody is capable of falling in love but to be falling in love itself is a grace. Gak semua orang punya kesempatan untuk merasakan jatuh cinta, atau mungkin kesempatannya ada tapi mereka memilih gak menyambutnya.

    *tsah*

  3. maybe all of us have that capability (to fall in love), unfortunately, not all people wanted to……
    itu sih menurut gw ya may! jadi emang ada aja orang yang memutuskan untuk “ya udahlah, males juga” pasrah aja ama sikon. Kadar cintanya sekarang yang bikin beda. Misalnya, iya gw cinta ama si A, tapi kok kalo mau ampe merit ama dia gw musti melalui perjuangan panjang. Then I give up. kadar cinta gw kurang tinggi. Ehhhhh itu menurut gw ya may!
    and by the way,this post is awesome…..as always! love reading your thought through your writing.

    • Betul joey. :) even though falling in love is so easy… Being in a relationship takes so much effort. Mgkn that’s why kadang orang keburu males, apalagi suka denger2 cerita sedih orang pacaran ya

  4. 100% agree with you…
    entah istilahnya capable atau gimana tapi emang gak semua orang lucky enough that they can feel the love.

    yah mungkin belum ketemu jodohnya, atau karena kurang usaha/terlalu menutup diri, dll.

    makanya gua juga selalu merasa bersyukur banget dah kalo gua bisa merasa mencintai dan dicintai… karena yang kata orang cinta itu sejuta rasanya, ya emang bener… ya gak? :D

    • So do you think it’s about luck or about effort??
      Kalo ttg luck kok kayaknya hidup nggak fair dong? Kalo soal effort bisa gue anggap fair lah.

      Yes definitely you’ve found one man. :)

  5. rasanya semua orang capable untuk mencintai,, tapi gak semua orang punya kesempatan yang sama untuk mencintai dan dincintai… bisa jadi krn dia yang nolak,, keadaan yang mendukung dan banyak hal yg mungkin kita sendiri g sempat memikirkannya hhehehe
    amiiin untuk semua wishnya ya… dan sumpah foto itu keren banget…:)

  6. Aw..aw..aw ngomongin soal cinta :)

    ehm..kalo menurut gue pada dasarnya setiap manusia punya insting untuk men-cinta sih…
    Masalahnya adalah apakah dia bisa berhasil dan beruntung untuk dapet partner yang tepat untuk dicintai ajah…

    Soalnya jaman sekarang falling in love ituh udah kayak komoditi yang di eksploitasi ama pelm dan drama aja…berdebar debar, gak bisa tidur, tersipu malu..blablabla…ah, itu mah masalah hormon endorfin aja kali..6 bulan juga abis…

    buat gue sendiri..love is comfort lho…
    karena lo harus bener2 berasa nyaman untuk jadi diri sendiri sama orang yang lo cinta walopun udah hidup bersama bertahun tahun…

    akh, tapi itu mah cuman teori asal2an gue ajah :)

  7. Yes, in theory. However you need to love yourself in order to be able to love others. As love is kind, love is equal, love is passion, love is care, love is offering and fill in with other adjectives you choose. Interpretation of love is different for every individual. I am happy for you, you have found one May.

    • Wow! That’s true!!!! It means the chance is actually fair but only people who loves themselves first could fall in love!
      That’s a great input, Lor!
      Would update this post! Thaaannkss

      • You are welcome May. If you are interested in more digging about this, I kindly recommend the book The art of loving by German philosopher Eric Fromm.

  8. baru aja mau ketik komen ternyata udah ada komen yang mirip sama komen saya. Komen Mba Lorraine. Setelah putus dari pacar beberapa waktu lalu, i have one question for myself: what is love? apa yang selama 4tahun gw jalani slama ini artinya cinta? terus kenapa sekarang sisanya cuma sakit?. but then my mother said that the first way for finding what is that definiton is: u must fine the definiton of love by loving yourself. slama 4 tahun jalan sama doi gw bahkan ga merasa bener-bener loving myself., yang gw lakuin hanya how to make him happy by doing all his rules.

    jadi setuju sama harapanmu Sis, smoga setelah bener-bener bisa mengerti dan mencintai diri sendiri, gw bener-bener bisa menikmati dan mensyukuri cinta sejati gua nanti ^^

  9. baca jurnal ini aku beneran jadi mikir deh, May. Iya, yaaaa… Apa setiap orang bisa jatuh cinta? Aku kenal beberapa temen perempuan yang umurnya udah kepala 4, dan belum merit. Belum pernah tanya sih, pernah nggak, mereka jatuh cinta? Atau… jangan2 pernah jatuh cinta, tapi pada orang yang salah? Eh, ada nggak sih, jatuh cinta pada orang yang salah? Misalnya: cinta sama suami orang, atau…. cinta sama laki2 yang nggak cinta balik sama kita…?
    Aaaahhh, in the end aku cuma bisa bersyukur, sudah menemukan cinta sejati tahun 2003 lalu… dan sekarang setelah berbuntut 3 begini, masih bisa loh ngerasain ‘tarikan magnetis’ itu…. hahaha… *penting*

  10. He is NOT unhappy. He might be happy. But he also could be happier. Or is he?

    THIS :D
    sometimes people tend not to take the risk of getting hurt in the process of loving someone, but those struggles and pains are what make the love stronger. and I think when you realized that every hurts and every struggles you have worth the love, it is what makes you happier

    wait, I don’t think I make sense…. oh well… :))

  11. In this post, you’re talking about romantic love, yeah? Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I’ve never had the feeling that I am missing out on anything regarding that. I have people in my life whom I love, and who love me, and I don’t consider that love less simply because it isn’t romantic. I don’t like the idea that we require another person to be happy. I find that concept, and the way people encourages it, quite damaging. I am glad that you are happy with your love, but there are people who have absolutely no interest in dating or being in a relationship or marriage and they’re also happy. Live and let live, I’d say.
    Also, people in the little red dot are a bit grumpy in general, but I wouldn’t presume that they’re unhappy with their lives. They’re probably just having a bad day. But yeah, toning down the staring would be most welcome. But if you bump onto a group of ah bengs and ah lians who sing Jay Chou’s songs very loudly in the bus, please feel free to judge and stare all you want. Young people these days. *feeling old dot com*

    • Hi julia. I love your comments. :)
      Yes, I speak about romantic love. I am a romantic myself, thus I think I want a romantic love. Everyone is different so I agree that everyone has their own definition of being happy.
      I must agree with you that we don’t need somebody else to make us happy. I believe that people who doesn’t love and accept themselves won’t ever be able to love other person completely. So I think this relates to the problem why sometimes they think they need other people to make them happy, and that is wrong.
      Thank you for the great comment, julia! ;)

  12. To answer your question: yes, everybody is capable to fall in love. Those who don’t, simply haven’t found out the right person yet. Heck.. most of the time people fall in love with the wrong person anyway…

  13. Hmm,…gue percaya sama yg namanya Jodoh, May…so gue percaya everyone has the capacity to fall in love but it also depends on opportunity and effort.

    • So jodoh yg lu maksud itu artinya semua org di dunia ini udah pasti punya jodoh/pasangan?
      Tapi juga butuh opportunity dan effort? Kalo dia udah buat effort tp ttp ga ketemu jodohnya gimana?

      • Yup. katolik khan percaya kalo wanita adalah tulang rusuk pria. So, selama dia berusaha Tuhan pasti nunjukin jalan dari teman-teman/lingkungan nya. kalo memang gak ketemu, berarti Tuhan punya rencana lain untuk dia.

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