They said I’m different


Since I was a little girl I got used to be called different. I was different because I had tanned skin as a Chinese girl, I was different because I dared to say no to teachers when she was wrong. I was different because once I led a group of my teenage girlfriends to protest to a priest because I believed he treated us wrong. I was different because unlike my friends I didn’t agree with my mom. I was different because I didn’t do what other people do.

I was accused to be different, which is negatively set in our minds. To be different was wrong.

I grew older and I started to realize that being different is cool. That it is what makes me cool. I met some people who thought I was cool, to be different. I made friends, who later became my best friends. They proudly said, “that is so you.” of certain things they found that proved me that I had found my identity.

I was complimented to be different, which made me a unique individual that assured me if I died, the world would lose one special person.

Today, someone was laughing at me before my eyes and mocked me, “You’re different. You’re like alien. We will never understand what you think.”

Let me tell you how it happened…

There’s this guy in my office, let’s call him asshole. I did argued with asshole once because he said I’m a hypocrite. Asshole talked bad behind my back saying that I don’t really work for SPCA and that if my boyfriend worked as a coolie, I would never get together with him. I didn’t know why he did that to me. Probably because when the first time I joined the office he had a crush on me and giving me stuffs and made me Milo for breakfast. I told him I had a boyfriend and I really loved my boyfriend and then he started to talk shits about me. WTF. I didn’t know that such sad loser existed until I knew this guy.

I stood up for myself and shouted at him so the entire office would hear, “YOU ARE ONE PATHETIC LOSER. I feel sorry for your unhappy life but please don’t spread it to other people. You can live sad forever alone and nobody cares.”

yeah yeah I know it’s rude. But I don’t care. You stabbed me, I’d stab you back.

Anyway it happened like 2 years ago. Since then I never gave a shit about this guy. Then yesterday his long relative died and my colleague collected compassionate money. I swear to god I didn’t want to chip in. I didn’t feel I needed to. Why should I? This guy is an asshole and I don’t wanna waste my money on him. I think I’m being hypocrite if I say I gave the money willinglly. Crap, my heart is not that big. However I chipped in a little, unwillingly.

And then a girl said to me, “it’s called manner, you know.”

Then I replied, “well, it can be also called hypocrisy. Depends on how you wanna see it.”

She then talked about my other colleague’s upcoming wedding and how he spent almost 1/3 of the guests from our office. Some of them, he doesn’t even know. I told her that’s CRAP. “I will never invite anyone who is not close to me to my wedding. NO! Not even my relative.”

She then preached me of how wrong that was. We argued for a while but then I realized that I wasted my time because certainly we think differently. So I told her, “Let’s just say that we are two different people.”

And the words came out, “You’re different. You’re like an alien.” with a very degrading tone.

WHAT THE FUCK.

It’s been SOOOOO LOOOONNGG since I was offended being called different.

Let me tell you, lady. YES I am different. I am the kind of girl who will not say “you’re pretty” when you look like shit! It’s not called manner, it’s called hypocrisy. I am the kind of girl who will not untag my photo on facebook just because I look ugly. Well, sorry if you think you look ugly, that’s because you never appreciate your true self and of course because you’re aiming to the wrong standard of beauty. I am the kind of girl who will never understand why I must invite someone I don’t like to my wedding, pay for their meals and have a bullshit chit-chat with them. Hey! It’s my wedding day! MY WEDDING MY WAY!

If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine!

Yes, I’m selfish, I’m stubborn. That’s just how I live my life and guess what, somebody fell in love with that, for REAL. I don’t give a shit about what people say if they’re not invited to my wedding. Why should I? They don’t feed me, do they? If I had to care of whatever people say about me, I’d be dead by now!
I am so sorry if in your life everyone has the same thinking, I’m sorry if in your world nobody gets to have their own opinion or even do their own things alone. I’m so sorry if having different thinking is wrong for you. I’m sorry that being fat and ugly is so sinful in your world because apparently nothing really matters inside because everyone is the same. I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you to live up to everyone’s standard and expectation but I don’t wanna live my life THAT WAY.
I let you know something:

Do what you want, Say what you mean because those who mind don’t matter and who matter don’t mind.

BURN!

I know you think a lot of people don’t like me, but HATE is a strong word. I know you don’t hate me, you just hate my guts. And that’s totally understandable. Because I know you secretly want my guts.

Well, did I tell that girl all of that? Nope. Guess the psycho-sotoy-analysis is too complicated. :p

I just told her, “I’m different, huh? Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Cheers,

May, who seriously needs to chill. LOL

21 thoughts on “They said I’m different

  1. oh how I loooove this post!!!
    being different isn’t a sin to begin with, in my opinion not being ‘me’ is!!!!!
    oh gosh, I also love it when people told me I am different since that means I have my own style and just being myself!!!!
    *hugs you sissy*

    • Kagak Dev!!! Orang singapur tuh emang otaknya sempit. Mereka gak sirik, mereka liat gue kasian gitu. Seriusan!!! Ngeselin kan! Kalo mereka sirik sih gue seneng2 aja tapi ini gue benci banget krn mereka dengan songongnya mikir gue tuh kasian krn “beda” KAMPRET KAN

  2. Why bother? Male and female assholes are for shitting and are incapable of offending whatever nasty noises they make..

    Anyhow, you’re right of course. Tamely conforming to whatever social convention is for dull and boring people only.

    One sentence made me wondering though: “I was different because unlike my friends I didn’t agree with my mom”. That’s in contrast with my biased experience. I have known hardly any teenage girl – including my bright and beautiful daughter Britt- in my life who ( generally speaking) did agree with her mother :>.

    • Hahaha, you were right! No teenage girls would ever agree with their parents. Well, maybe I put it in the wrong way. I don’t know how to put it, but there’s always a big different between me and my mom, an unresolved issue. Just so complicated. =)

  3. You’re absolutely different May! in a good way of course. Belum ketemu, tapi itu bisa terlihat jelas di post2 mu kok ;)
    Yah kalau ga ada asshole2 itu, nanti semua orang jadi sama kayak km kan jg ga seru May. Justru karna ada asshole makanya km jd makin beda :D *pake kacamata*

  4. Ah, soal undangan kawinan ini emang bener2 ribet deh. Dulu pernah juga tuh jaman kuliah, ada undangan kawinan dan gue ragu buat dateng karena sebenernya ga terlalu deket, terus ada acara lain juga. Pas lagi ngomong soal itu sama temen gue, tau2 ada yang nguping terus nyeletuk, panggil aja mr. B, dia bilang kalau tahu gue kayak gitu, udah aja nanti pas nikah dia mending ga usah ngundang gue.
    Terus gue jawab aja, ya gapapa sih, gak deket juga kok ama lo. -_-;
    Kalau di agama gue, diundang itu sunahnya harus diusahain banget dateng. Tapi kalau gue berusaha realistis sih, kalau emang ada yang lebih penting kenapa dipaksain, lagian gue merasa udah cukup kalau gue pastiin gue bisa hadir untuk temen2 yang emang deket aja. Di umur dimana tiap weekend ada aja yang nikah gini apa jadinya kalau semua2 harus banget didatengin -_-;.
    Berbekal itu jadinya kepikiran juga sih kalau one day nikah, gak kepengen ngundang terlalu banyak, yang gue kenal2 aja, sisanya ya tinggal umumin lewat sosmed kalau udah nikah, beres toh. Duitnya bisa dipakai untuk hal yang lebih berguna dan pasti memorable :D.
    Semangat May, omongan kaya gitu emang ngeselin. Cuekin aja, dia cuma ngerasa sebel karena ga bisa mengubah pandangan lo, terus jadi bitter gitu deh, mengatakan sesuatu yang ga pantes dia ucapkan ke orang lain :D. Semoga persiapan weddingnya lancar yaa :D

  5. hihihihihi……….udah dimulai nih “drama”nya *duduk nyimak*
    May……..cuekin aja ya orang2 yg ganggu2 itu, yang penting kan kamu n bandi nikahnya gimana nanti. semoga semua lancar yaaa trus kamu gak stress deh. kalo stress kan nanti jadi kurus, trus kalau kurus n bodynya jadi kece banget, kan aku sirik pas ketemuan nanti hahahaha *egois*

  6. Jiaahhhh buang energi may kalo ngomong sama orang yg emang ketauan beda sama kita mah. Gw kayaknya udah kebal sama yg begituan hahaha! Lupa juga sm yg sensi sensi gini, diingetin lagi kemaren pas ada temen SMP whatsapp gw nanya anak udah berapa, kok udh setaun nikah belom dikaruniain (ciaahh bahasa nya udah menjurus gt) dan bilang ayok bikin jgn mau kalah sma si A, B dan C. Tipikal bgt kan? Klo dulu dengeri yg beginian gw pasti bakal yg esmosi, tp kemaren dgn tenangnya gw anteng bgt jawabnya (Yah nyantai aje kalee)..hihi…Intinya sih, yg norak2 gt cuekin aje. Btw, top bgt loe sautin begono si asshole…HAHAHA!!! klo gw ada disono gw nontonin ituh..pasti!!

  7. huahahaha, you’re different that’s why I’m in love with your blog from the very first time I laid my eyes on it. So I say you’re different as a fact and compliment

  8. “Do what you want, Say what you mean because those who mind don’t matter and who matter don’t mind.”

    ini udah patokan yang paling bener banget may!
    gak usah dipikirin lah orang ngomong apa ya… :D

  9. You are not different but just being freaking honest to yourself. It is hard to live in a society where the social conventions are tightly maintained. Perhaps the majority of people do not like what they ought to do for the custom’s sake but they are afraid to openly reject it.

    On my wedding one girl from highschool I didn’t invite came. She never invited me for her parties why should I. There were only 12 close highschool friends I invited. When she congratulated me I openly said “I don’t remember I invited you?” She then just grinned and walked away. Other guests heard that. I didn’t care it was my wedding! I wasn’t upset I carried on enjoying the party thinking I was succeeded in humiliating the wedding crasher and I liked it :-)

  10. i think itu gara2 di asia orang belom biasa terima perbedaan, dan karena kentel budaya n pressure masyarakat makanya banyak yg milih mainstream daripada beda trus jadi sorotan dan dapet banyak komentar. makanya banyak yg orang yg heran kalo ada yg milih ‘beda’ dan jadi sorotan daripada sekedar ikutin mainstream hahaha.
    you go may! being different is so cool lagi haha. gw baca postingan lo juga salut, jadi inget kemaren ini baca quotes dari om steve jobs, ‘your life is limited, so dont waste it by living in someone else’ life, Dont be trapped by dogma – which is living with the result of other people’s thinking” kira2 gitu deh hahaha.

  11. Haha, when I read about how you yelled at asshole, I was like ‘Oh, snap!’
    Seriously, I don’t understand people like that. Spreading baseless rumour about other people behind their backs. Dude has issues.

    As for your female colleague, I don’t agree with her, but I can see where she is coming from. In the Chinese culture that I grew up in, it’s all about ‘face’ and ‘courtesy’. Personally, I don’t care about those, much to the chagrin of my Mum, but it’s how it works for other people. In an ideal world, people would be able to respect our differences, but alas, we are not living in that kind of fantasy land. We could do without the condescending tone, though, thank you very much.

    Just do whatever you feel is the best for you. It’s your life. *Jedi hug*

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