Yesterday I saw a very shocking photo on my facebook. A single acquaintance of mine got married. Huh? What?
Yeah. The last time I met her (not that long seriously) she was still babbling about how she is happily single. Somehow she decided to take a leap of faith stupidity that decided to get married faster than I even decide which dress to wear for Christmas dinner.
I know, I know, Strawberry has preached me thousand times about how people are happy with different things and not everyone perceive marriage like I do blah blah blah, BUT THIS DESERVE A BITCHING TIME.
I never understand why people got married with so FREAKINGLY stupid reason but Strawberry always told me that they have different value and I must accept the fact that some women are dreaming to get married, thus their achievement is to be married and be a wife. FULL STOP. Do I condemn a housewife? NO!!! I adore housewife who can juggle all the works in house and also take care of the kids. But you don’t marry the first guy who arrive at your doorstep, geez. You don’t pick a creepy guy from the street to be your husband, right? You get to know him, you fall in love, you commit, have a fight and then make up and then fall in love again and then get married.
You need LOVE to be married. And I don’t believe that people who just met three months ago could love each other unconditionally. Yes, you can count the SWOT analysis, you can study his/her family tree, bank account and assets, but you can’t test his/her love.
I am judgmental? No. I am an idealist.
So, let me list down the stupidest 10 reason to marry someone: (in randomly order)
1. Because he’s hot/rich/insert as you like
Do I have to explain this?
2. Because according to my parents/grandparents/insert as you like this is the proper time to get married.
(Other wise i have to wait another 3 years/4 yrs/insert as you like)
Yeah, I know someone who do that. You’re not ready yet but according to your grandparents, this year is a good year to get married. What rubbish.
3. Because I am old/my boyfriend is old
Because if you turn 35 years old and you haven’t married, you will die, right? That’s why you use this reason, right?
4. Because we’ve been together for so long.
LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP doesn’t validate any marriage. You think you know someone and you don’t want to waste any more time so you just get along with it. It’s not right. Remember that he might be the right person to marry, but do it with the right reason too, ok? =)
5. Because I am lonely
Get a cat! Or an inflatable dolls! Not a husband/wife!!!
6. To legalize sex.
THE WORST OF ALL. So you can’t handle the hormones, so you want to bang your gf/bf, then just do it! (with protection of course) Do you really have to get married to have sex? And then you know that you’re married and the worst thing happen, she’s pregnant and you don’t have a proper foundation and the kid is the victim of dysfunctional family.
Here’s the thing, if you want to stay virgin until you’re married, make sure your soul stays virgin too. Honor your commitment. But if you can’t, then don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t use marriage as an excuse for having sex.
7. Because I’m in a relationship and the next step is marriage
I think this reason is almost the same with no.4 so I won’t talk about it again.
8. Because it is bad luck to refuse a proposal from a guy.
This is true story. I have a friend who gave me a surprise by telling me she’s getting married with a man who hasn’t even been together with her for a year. I asked why, she answered because he wanted to get married and it’s bad luck to reject. Did he even buy a ring? Come on, any ring! Did he even made a romantic gesture asking you to marry him? NO!!! He just asked and she accepted because….
“My mom said it’s bad luck (pamali) to reject when a guy asked you to get married. If we reject, there would be nobody ever wanted to marry me.”
And people….. She’s pretty.
I bet million dollars that so many guys want to marry her. Sadly, pretty face is useless without a good brain.
9. Because my dying grandparents requested.
I’m sorry, this might be a sensitive issue. Because Bandi was bummed so badly when his grandma died and she kept asking Bandi to get married and he refused and when his grandma died, his family implicitly blamed him not to get married earlier.
WHAT THE FUCK. He was depressed for quite some time and bought me a ring. That was the rejection. Because I knew it is NOT the right time. And the right time will come.
10. Because I’m miserable and I want to be happy.
So you think marriage is rainbow and unicorn? Huh? So your happiness depends on other human being? OH MAN You’re so SCREWED!
Hey May, why don’t you mind your own business and stop bitching about marriage?
Well, I’m gonna tell you why. My mom and dad married with the wrong reason and look how I turned out? I’m technically crazy.
You have no idea what I had gone through in my childhood. I don’t say my parents are bad parents but they are certainly not working well together.
It is a miracle that universe sent me Bandi and I managed to want to get married. (Bcoz oh GOD I didn’t want it. The only marriage I know is horrible) But seriously, it is fine to get married with the wrong reasons as long as you don’t involve children. But when you has children and you two didn’t even synchronized as team work, would it be sad for the kids? :(
I’m a living proof, my friend. And trust me, you don’t want ME as your kid. :p
Please do think 1000 times before you get married. You have to be 100% sure that you WILL NEVER LOOK BACK. That this is what you want. And that person you’re marrying can give you security, safety, comfort and infinite love.
You trust that person with your heart, no terms and conditions.
And most importantly, you love that person passionately, wisely and unconditionally.
Cheers,
May, your favorite bitch.
Bay Travels: The Journal 
Whatever stupid reasons people get married to.. if they take time to understand each other and continue dating after marriage i think that shud do
Alesan no 3 itu yang orang2 pake buat nyuruh2 gua cepet2 married. Gua ama Seno kan beda 6 taon, disaat gua masih kepala 2, dia uda kepala 3. Ampe org2 bilang, “lu ga kasian ama Seno, dia kan uda tua” dan gua…masuk kuping kiri keluar kuping kanan ahahahahaha. Ditambah lagi keluarganya juga uda nyuruh kita cepet2 married hahahaha. Pada akhirnya kita married juga koq….setelah 5 taon pacaran hahahaha.
No 2 dan 6 akuuuuu bgt huhahaha
hahahaha kayanya lo sering banget bikin postingan model kaya gini, bitching about reasons to get married.. dan selalu amusing buat gw mengingat betapa lo sangat excited akan wedding and marriage lo, tapi kalo baca postingan lo yg ini aja tanpa baca postingan sebelom2nya pasti orang ga nyangka lo lagi persiapan wedding dan sangat excited ttg itu hahaha.
tapi poin2 lo itu bener kok, gw setuju semuanya, though im not that strongly against those reasons :p
Hahaha gitu yah de? Yeah sbnrnya dr jaman dl kayaknya udah ada puluhan posting kayak gini. Gue ga pernah bosen ngoceh ttg ini de. :)
And I’m planning my wedding. How cute is that? I just want everyone to have the right feeling when they’re getting married. :)
Kadang gue pun nggak ngerti orang yang baru ketemu sebulan, dua bulan, or even 6 months, and decided to get married, but who am I to judge?
Yeahhhh I judge once in a while. It’s fun. Xp
Nomer 2 itu alasan aku merit awal tahun ini. Kita sih udah siap emang mau merit, tapi rencananya pertengahan atau akhir tahun 2013 paling lambat awal tahun 2014… tapiiii karena menghormati ortu yang bilang ga bisa merit karena ciong2 itu jadinya tanggal meritnya dipercepat jadi awal tahun 2013… ya tapi soal merit sih emang kita udah putusin dari tahun 2012… cuma dananya aja yang masih dikumpulin…huehehhe…
Tambahan ya…. lupa komen. Menurutku sih apapun yang seorang wanita putuskan, harus bisa dipertanggung jawabkan pada dirinya sendiri suatu saat nanti. Jadi harus menerima segala resiko yang bisa timbul kedepannya…..
Lo pacaran sama ridson kan 8 tahun yul, emang udah comit dan cinta, dan udah siap married, no matter when. The reason bukan tahunnya dong, tapi cintanya! ;)
Hahahaha… ya cinta sih iya… tapi sebenarnya pas merit itu belum terlalu siap di dana… makanya agak maksa dikit, gara2 ciong itu….
Aku yang nomer 7 tuh hahahahahaa. Udah setahun lebih tua dari target umur menikah pula. Jadi pas diajak nikah hayo hayo aja kakaaak. Ihihi
Aku punya temen yg nikah karena nomer 10. So sad sih, karena when you can’t be happy when you’re single, don’t expect married with someone will make you happy. It take two happy people to make a happy marriage lowh.
True. Two happy people for a happy marriage. Don’t wanna risk it.
Terus, temen lo alesan meritnya apa jadinya?? *haus gosip* (padahal ga kenal).
Anyway Mei, beberapa orang butuh alasan-alasan diatas buat bikin mereka berani melangkah. Ada beberapa temen gw yang udah saling ngerasa cocok, tapi (biasanya ceweknya) terus-terusan ngerasa belom siap makanya diundur-undur. Dengan adanya alesan kaya nomer 2, 3 & 9, atau bahkan alesan (yg menurut gw konyol abis) macem “tahun depan taun naga emas, HARUS punya anak nih!”, mereka jadi berani ngelangkah. Just my 2 cents.
Probably right. Mgkn terlalu pengecut utk married tp mau married so begitulah. Well, gak bisa salahin juga. Their lives their ways. I only bitch. XD
Ayo gossip ke whatsapp kalo maw taw. Hahahaha
Tambahan.
Because everybody surrounds me are getting freakin married!
Yoi, ketika temen2 di genk lo mulai pada mempersiapkan perkawinan rasanya kok jadi kepengen juga yaaa nyiapin wedding dll dll.. kayaknya seruu.. terus saat mrk mulai punya anak, ih kok lucu yaa punya anak.. pengen juga aahh :D
Tp biasanya perasaan ini cuman sebentar doang sih, kalo blm merasa klop ya ada aja masalah di masa2 persiapan perkawinan ituh. makanya gw against bgt kawin express semacem las vegas wedding gt soalnya di masa2 persiapan yg berbulan2 bahkan setaon itu kita bener2 disiapin / dibuka matanya ttg pasangan / keluarga masa depan lo
Oiyaaaa itu jugaaaa! Lupa gue! Hahahaha
gua setuju banget ama lu!!!
duh yang alesan nomor 2 itu bener2 dah ya.. tapi i know that it really happens in some people! hahahaa. aneh tapi nyata emang… :P
kalo yang nomor 8 itu desperado banget gak sih. masa jadi siapapun yang ngelamar duluan pasti diterima. ada2 aja. huahaha.
pokoknya 10 alesan di atas gak banget dah! :P
My parents lived through a pretty happy marriage ( as far as I can recollect), but I absolutely agree with you. Not because LOVE guarantees an ever lasting beautiful relationship, but without it’s definitely a non starter .
So, I agree. With one exception. Wouldn’t you be with me if I said we should give it if we happen to run into a really hot bird/guy.. It will fail probably pretty soon.
But that only means we afterwards have a second chance to go into a serious love based relationship.
Yes. Agree. If I ran into a super hot guy, i would probably prefer one night stand or relationship maybe. But definitely not a marriage based on the hotness.
Oh man,
Reason nr 9 is what I call a blackmail but surprisingly this still happens the day today. Other reasons on your list are really stupid. I agree 100%. I was young when I got married but I did that because of the overwhelming feeling I had with my then boyfriend. We had 3 years LDR, in the second year we decided to get married. It was not only because of love. There were other things I weighed in my considerations beside love; like we share the same values and respect each other, we agreed to start a family later on not directly after the wedding etc. If it feels right, why not getting married? 18 years later on we are still together :-)
Alesan no.4 tuh sering banget dilempar ke gue waktu g belom married. G pacaran 11 tahun sebelom akhirnya married. Temen2 yg tau g pacaran udah lama gitu (dan kebetulan udah merit duluan) klo ketemu g rata-rata pada nanya kapan merit, pacaran udah lama banget nunggu apalagi.
Kadang g gerah dengernya. Iya g pacaran emang lama, trus emang kenapa? Klo pacaran lama trus harus cepet-cepet kawin gitu?
Lebih kesel lagi klo yg ngomong tuh nyombong gitu “g aja cuma setaon pacaran udah merit, lu udah lama gitu mau ngapain lagi sih?”
Rempong ya orang-orang..
Dan setelah g merit.. can u guess satu kata favorit orang-orang yang dilempar ke gue?
“Akhirnyyaaaaa”
Seperti relationship gue ada ngaruhnya aja ke hidup mereka.
In Singapore there’s another reason, though the people who use this reason aren’t stupid: to get PR and a flat.
Hahaha yes. That one! To buy an HDB flat.