Actually I have been wanting to post this since two weeks ago but I just seemed never in the perfect mood.
Well now I am. I am in the perfect mood to be a feminist who defends a man!
As much as I wanted ladies to read this and understand this, I also wanted men to comment their thoughts about it. So here we go…
With growing number of jerks in this world, it’s very hard to find a real man who really is a gentleman. And when we finally meet a nice gentleman, what do we do? We dump him!
Yeah, Girls tend to dump nice man!!!! (I know, I know, not all girls, I actually meant this statement to one girl only)
*sigh* I don’t know how to start this post.
Why? WHY??? Why we dump nice men and go after jerks? I have a lot of friends who are in a relationship with man who doesn’t treat them right and yet they stay. And when you’ve found a man who’s actually nice to you, you’re questioning them. “Why is he so nice? Does he want something from me?”
We, women, think that men are heartless, cruel, insincere and selfish so when they’re acting like one, we’re okay with that because we think it’s normal. And when they’re doing something sincerely nice, we question them!
In this post, I just want to emphasize one more time that NICE GUYS DO EXIST.
Let’s just get to the point why I make this post in the first place. I have a bestfriend who had a nine years relationship and ended up in a trash (I wrote a letter once to the girl here). A year later, he still hasn’t moved on, so he flew to Singapore and crashed at my place, drinking the pain away. (Literally)
I don’t have many male friends who talk about love. I think he’s the only one who really talks about love so deep with me. I never thought men can talk about love that serious.
I always talk about love with my female friends, using the reason that “Men don’t understand our feelings!”
And guess what? Men think the same too!! That is why I was being ditched out during those 3 nights for sharing the drinks and the love talks. He and Bandi talked alllll night WITHOUT ME! They wasted time and money to buy cans of beers just to talk and talk and talk. (This is one side of Bandi and guys in general I never knew about)
When I asked them about the details, they didn’t want to tell me. I only know they were talking about love and how it hurt.
Really??? Guys could feel hurt?! YES!
(Seriously there was the time when I thought men couldn’t feel pain. There was the time when I was so cynical about love too.)
So, let me tell you something, ladies… (I am not a man, but I hope I could talk on behalf of them)
When a man loves a woman, he is really capable to actually love! (I know we women tend to think they are not capable, but they are!)
When a man loves a woman, the only mission he’s doing everyday is just to make you happy. Seriously, I was laughing on it for 10 seconds hearing this from them but then they looked damn serious. While we, women, always demand the guys to be more romantic, to be more initiative, more blah blah blah, what they wanted all along is… to make us happy.
When a man loves a woman, he thinks about the woman more than we thought he would. He’s probably not as expressive as we are, writing on facebook or post his photos in instagram, but he really does think about his girl, almost all the time.
When a man loves a woman, he puts her in his future dream. This one is for sure.
So when a man has been having this girl in his future dream for 9 freaking years, he’s crushed when she’s suddenly not in his life anymore!
So yeah, men is more difficult to move on than us, women. My friend broke up with his 9 years girlfriend last year. She’s now in a relationship with someone else while my friend is still stuck trying to drink the pain away.
Ladies, don’t hurt men. Don’t think that their hearts are hard as rock. They are as humane as we are. If you don’t intend to marry him, don’t tell him that you love him that much. It works both way right?
If you demand gender equality, to be equally placed with men in work and politic, we should start to see men equally vulnerable with us too.
There are a lot of stories about men hurting women, but not much for the opposite because of the strong exterior of men. They tend to look not to care but they do.
It’s true that we can’t easily trust men based on the growing number of jerks, but don’t let the paranoia slips the right one away.
And YOU! Yes YOU! You got the right one slipped away. How could you just move on from a guy who has been in your life for freaking 9 years???!!!!
(Arrgh, now it sounds just like an angry post. T.T)
I just hope this world is filled with people who’s perfectly happy with the one they’re with. If Kim Jong Un has found the one he’s in love with, maybe none of the silliness happened.
Ah, who am I to know, right? I’m in love but once in a while I still want to send nuclear to some people. Yeah, we’re human afterall. Heartbreaks are inevitable.
Have a good long weekend!
(I know I will since I am picking up Strawberry at the airport! Yippee!)
May, still a feminist.