What if and what is


I have a friend, um, not exactly a friend, more like a person I must meet everyday and talk rubbish to. (You get what I mean right?) So let’s call her Sasha (bukan nama sebenarnya. =D)

Sasha seems like having it all. She has a nice job, a good husband, a house and a son. She doesn’t complain about her husband or her work, but she complains the fact that she is a woman. Every month on her period, she complains and wishes that in her next life, she would be born as a man.

I have a crappy stomach cramp on my period too but will I give up my boobs for a penis? NO!

I told her that women have more privileges than men. We get to wear skirt (not the Scottish Kilt, but the cute ones), get to wear cute accessories, get to gossip and having sleepovers with girlfriends. And and and… we have the honor to carry a baby. (Not that I’m a big fan of being prego tho, everyone knows I’m so not into having kids) But there must be a reason why women were the ones chosen to carry the baby instead of men.

And Sasha went “that’s the worst part! I got to be pregnant and gave birth.” Wait wait… that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that her friend agreed.

You see,  it is usual for a traditional Chinese woman like her not to be excited for being girl. We all know traditional Chinese people put men in superior positions. One of my friend even got ‘rejected’ by her mother in law because she gave birth to two daughters. I don’t mean to be racist, I am a Chinese myself, thankfully from a maternal superior family (haha?)

Then I joked, “if you wanted to be a man so much, let’s go to Bangkok and have a sex surgery.” and she was like “Eww… Don’t talk about that.” Well, now transgender is a problem too???

I got my period today (yeah, declaring it to the world) and met her again. It is very obvious when I’m on my period because I will be sulky all day and keep rubbing medicated oil on my tummy. And she would went on like this again, “see? We should have been born as men. No need to take care of kids and have crappy period.”

This time, I feel like she meant it. I know that she always meant it, but I somehow always hoped that she joked. But no, she meant it. She hates to be a woman.

I asked her, “What if you were a man? What would you do?”

And she went on and on about how she could do ANYTHING if she was a man… meaning that now when she is a woman, she can’t do all those things.

I was sad. Because what is that you are a woman.

Are there still a lot of women thinking about this? That men are superior? Oh thank god she’s not Indonesian, other than Ibu Kartini would have been so ashamed! (Oh what am I kidding, there are A LOT of Indonesian women who think this way.)

What if I was a man?

Let’s toss off the feminist issue. I believe there are a lot of men out there who are dying to have vagina too (the one that actually works). I never thought about this before, but the sex war will always be happening, no matter what century we’re living in, whether it’s in the 1500’s when woman was only an accessory to a man, or in the 2000’s when gay people are allowed to be married.

What if I was born as the opposite sex?

Ok now, sexist issue aside, have you ever thought to be born as the opposite sex? Have you, people? (You guys can joke about this, ok. Sexist issue aside. =))

Well, if I was born as the opposite sex, which is to be born as a man, I would be THE MOST ROMANTIC GUY ON EARTH, that makes Nicolas Spark looks like a prude! Hahaha! Seriously, I will be so romantic and sweet and corny that every girl will fall in love with me. And I will not be committed to any of them with an excuse like, “Oh sweetie, I wish I could… But I’m dying and I only have one more year to live.” HAHAHAHA.

Oh God, no wonder I’m born as a girl. You made the right decision there, god! XD

Just kidding. Nah! I never thought about being a guy, because guys are stinky and their socks smell! X(

Girl power! Yeah!

Cheers,

May, on a crappy stomach cramp.

PS: Just realized it’s been too long since there is a picture in this blog. Let me give you a bonus for reading until the end:

Hahaha! An early birthday present from my best friend bcoz she thought it looks like Bandi! XD

Hahaha! An early birthday present from my best friend bcoz she thought it looks like Bandi! XD

22 thoughts on “What if and what is

  1. “… will I give up my boobs for a penis? NO!”. Well, okay. I see. So let’s keep it the way it is. On my turn I’m afraid giving birth. But the main reason to stay a male chauvinistic pig is that even for a magic vagina and two wonderful breasts I would not want to swop the second best part of my body ( after the few braincells which still remain) for any price :).

    PS: I don’t doubt you would be a super romantic guy. No wonder. From what I read somewhere else friends consider you to be a super romantic woman already.

    • Haha, if it’s about the facebook comment, then I might have been disappointing a lot of people now because I am no longer that hopeless romantic. *sigh*
      Yeah I’m starting to get an idea that everyone won’t trade their body parts for the opposite. hahaha obviously.

  2. Ha! Interesting topic!
    If i was a man, i think i would stay single! Bukan krn gw mau stay single tp krn gw ga bisa memutuskan naksir siapa. Hahahaha. Seriously… gw sering tanya ke para pria gmn cr mreka milih utk ngejar 1 cewe dr skian banyak pilihan. Apalagi yg kaya mas ben (or bandi) yg sblmnya ga prnah serius ngejar cewe. Gw yg prtama dan dia langsung yakin.
    Yaaaa maklum sbg cewe gw pasif mampus. Gw ga pernah naksir cowo duluan. Slaluuuu akhirnya gw suka krn mreka deketin duluan. Haha

  3. hahahaha.. gak pernah kepikir pingin jadi cowok. entah kenapa. yes I have monthly crampy period, I have 29-long-hours-kok gak kebukaan 10 aja sih-labor. bahkan ketika udah bukaan, melilit dan bahu yg kliatan bukan kepala. dan si dokter blg “kl gak bisa saya puter, cesar ya bu?” and i was like “WHAT!! can you do something!!!!” sambil teriak.

    but but but.. those painful labor, monthly painful crampy period doesn’t make me to change this brazilian wax area into penis. NO Thank you. hahahahaha. It’s always wonderful being woman…

  4. Ngoaaaaahh.. Mau bonekanyaaaaa. Hehe. I also had that wish (but it end with “just a wish”. haha), thats because get so jealous with my younger brother. Bisa pergi sampe malem, nginep di kost temennya and bla bla bla. Lah gue yang cewek? Pulang magrib aja di bombardir kicauannya mom. Heuuuuu :(

  5. Sama sekali gak kepikiran buat jadi cowo :p Walau memang sudah kodratnya wanita ngerasain yg namanya sakit tiap bulan, tapi tetap menikmati tuh..hihihi..

  6. Entar kalau udah jadi cowok, dia ngeluh lagi: ga enak musti nraktir klo ngajakin cewek dinner, capek musti nganterin pulang, capek musti gentle ngangkatin barang berat… capek deh..

  7. Hahaha gw pernah iseng2 mikir gmn kalo jd co! Dan the thought of it doesn’t excite me at all! Kalo gw hrs jd co dgn karakter gw skr, hmmm.. Susahhh.. Bye bye my long hair, ga bs main make up, pake baju lucu2, wore my lovely wedding gown n veil (vs male suit jauhhh lbh exciting kan), shoes, mau ballet suka diasumsi banci, dsb. Tp gw akan jd co yg rapi bersih, take good care of my body n work out.. Hahaa.. Apalg yah.. Jd metrosexual man kali.. =.=

  8. sebenernya mau gender apapun, or even condition apapun, pasti ada plus minus nya. dan emang jadi manusia gak pernah puas. dikasih A, pasti pengen B. padahal kalo dikasih B, jadi pengen A.

    yang jadi masalah itu adalah the complaints. ya gak. kalo gak puas, do something. don’t complain. kata siapa perempuan gak bisa melakukan yang pria bisa? itu masalah mau atau gak mau, bukan bisa atau gak bisa. sampe bahkan kalo mau ganti kelamin pun bisa kayak yang lu bilang. huahahaha.

    yah yang annoying dari orang kayak temen lu itu karena dia gak bersyukur. jadi males denger kompleinnya. ya gak… :D

    btw bonekanya lucu. yah lumayan lah mirip2 ama bandi. hahaha.

  9. May, if you have the period cramp, try to drink a glass of warm (more towards hot rather than cold) water. It works better on me. Logically, it works on the inside rather than outside. Get it??

    Gw sih sama sekali tidak pernah berpikir pengen jadi cowok. Bersyukur jadi cewek gak? Ya ga sampe segitunya juga… Biasa aja. Dikasih jadi cewek, yaudah ditekunin buat jadi the best of all cewek dong. Malah ini gak mau ngelahirin lah, ga mau having period lah. Jeeeh… Ntar kalo tiba-tiba gak mens, panik ga dia?? Mungkin what she should decide is, what does she want for her? Jangan jadi cewek ga mau, suruh ganti kelamin pun ga mau. Jadi cuman bisa nularin aura negatif buat orang sekitarnya juga kan.

    • Yes I drink warm water on my period and it helps. :)
      Bisa bayangin ga lo kalo gue minum air dinging, beuuuhh bisa 100 things to bitch about deh next post nya. Hahaha

  10. go ahead, minum air dingin yg byk.. i love it when you bitching around haha!
    eniway, gw cukup hepi jadi cewe, gak byk tekanan untuk menghidupi keluarga :p *emang dasarnya gw males kerja aja kali ya*. Dan enaknya lagi ya itu di protect sama cowo, mo minta apa bisa minta tolong, kalo lagi cape dikasih tempat duduk, kalo bawa barang berat ada yang bantuin.. apalagi kalo cakep, modal kedip doang bisa dapet emas segunung hahaha..

  11. gua cukup hepi sih jadi cewe, biarpun kalo belom pulang lewat dari jam 10 suka diteror ama nyokap, ato kalo jalan malem2 naik kendaraan umum, was2nya bisa dobel, ato mungkin sakit perut akut tiap period, ato nanti akan hamil dan ngelahirin yg katanya sakit banget hahahaha… tapi gua tetep hepi koq…

    setidaknya….gua biarpun kerja cari duit, masih tetep punya alasan untuk menikmati hidup, untuk ngegosip, untuk ke salon buat dandan, shopping pas sale hehehehe…

  12. I would prefer to have 2 big round tight balls on my chest rather than a sagging little balls on my crotch :P
    Say no to small and saggy balls! :D

  13. Honestly, the only reason I want to be a guy would be to jerk off. Because PENIS man! Also – gay sex. Because apparently the prostate is fun. But *cough* yeah.. anyway.. hahaha~

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