To yell back or not to yell back, that’s the question.


I was thinking whether it would be useful to post this story but however I decided to just write a short post about it.
On last Sunday I went to Marche for a friend’s birthday. We were having a great time, eating until my stomach almost bursted and laughing until my cheek hurt. I was in a very very good mood of course. We all finished lunch on 3 pm (yeah we spent too much time talking and laughing) and while the others decided to carry on the fun time with Oblivion movie, Bandi and I passed the movie because Bandi just had a football injury in the morning and he barely walked. I wanted him to just go home and rest.

We went down to the basement to buy something first and passed by a very crowded bubble tea store. I bumped into a woman with a kid and said a nonchalant “oops sorry” which is very VERY normal in Singapore.

You always physically bump into each other in MRT, shopping mall, toilet, anywhere!!! Yeah it’s always crowded here in Singapore. And saying “sorry” or “excuse me” is the least you can do do politeness.

However the woman seemed to be in a crabby mood. She snapped rudely “watch people ok?” then she walked pass me very fast. I left Bandi who barely walked and go after her, “geez! I said sorry!” Her caucasian husband appeared from behind and said “it’s not the matter of saying sorry!” While the woman had already disappeared.

Well what is’s all about then? What should you do when you bump on people on a crowded mall? Freaking serenade sorry song for you? Buy your a wall of flowers spelling “SORRY?” GEEZ!

I told the guy “You don’t have to be so rude!” And he (probably already feel unreasonable) walked away very fast.

I was mad at once. Gee! What a great way to ruin my mood, to be treated rude by a total stranger!

In the taxi Bandi asked me what it was all about because he didn’t seem to understand the problem. He said my good time shouldn’t be ruined by some random people who obviously in a bad mood. Yeah the husband and wife seemed to be in a fight then and the two of them were in a bad mood. But it doesn’t validate someone to be rude when you’re in a bad mood. Gee! Self centered much?

What I’m trying to say is… Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood and I go to MRT, it’s very easy to be snapping at people, being rude and transferring your anger to stranger especially here in Singapore where people are so indifferent. But thankfully I never do that.

In Jakarta, this problem probably appears to those who drive. I used to ride scooter though and when it’s raining, I got splashed by cars hundred of tiiimes! Did I wanna be angry and swear on them? Yeah I did so bad. But somehow I never did, because it is not my place to teach them a manner or politeness lesson. It’s just car being a car and I can’t get mad.
It is not okay to throw your anger to other people. It is so wrong!

Back then in Indonesia, whenever ojek driver or some guys hanging around tried to tease me or verbally harassed me like “aih neng! Cantik-cantik jalan sendirian! Sini abang temenin!” Or “Mau kemana neeeng” with bullying laughter, I would turn to them and said “Ada apa yah mas, manggil saya? Ada masalah?” With a very fierce face. Sometimes When the situation was good, like there were a lot of people, I would say back louder and made them embarrassed. They would totally shut up.

That woman is so lucky that I was in a very good mood. If I were in a bad mood, I probably said something mean to her which would costed me a bad karma and costed her even more anger. In the end it’s a lose lose situation. However her act of selfishness alone had already costed me anger and hatred.

I am the kind of person who always stand up for myself no matter what the situation is. My friend used to tell me to just ignore them, my time isn’t worth the sweat. Well, it is. I don’t like when people try to bully other people. I’m not saying what I do is the correct way for dealing with bullies, but at least I think it is.

Back to the rude stranger and her bullying words, I told Bandi that even though she transferred her anger at me, I felt grateful that I am not in her position. I almost was in a couple of times, but thankfully I was reminded.

No matter how big your problem is or how crabby your mood is, it is NEVER OKAY to throw your anger to stranger!!!

The universe is not revolved around you, ok? Don’t be self centered as if you’re the only one having trouble and every other person on earth must understand you.

Be considerate people. Remember this:

You don’t have to be pretty or rich or genius to be happy in life, but you have to be kind.

Cheers,
May, feeling justified.

14 thoughts on “To yell back or not to yell back, that’s the question.

  1. be patient cee~ they don’t worth the energy you spent while being angry~ *my grammar TuT*
    but though I said that, I actually snap quite easily too hahaha~

  2. i used to yell back… tapi seiring berjalannya waktu (baca: makin tua :p ) lebih sering gw cuekin hehe

    “No matter how big your problem is or how crabby your mood is, it is NEVER OKAY to throw your anger to stranger!!!” —> agree! and thank you for reminding me :)

  3. hey, that’s rude. bener kata lo may, trus lo musti ngapain lagi kalo udah bilang sori aja dia masih jutek. and it also true, it’s not ok to throw your anger at stranger. eventhough it’s easier to said than to be done. kadang malah lebih gampang melampiaskan ke orang asing dalam case2 kaya gitu..yah, tertampar lagi deh gw hahahahaha.

  4. wuiii iya nyebelin banget!! gua kalo jadi lu juga pasti sebel banget… :(
    orang gak sengaja dan udah say sorry mau apa lagi coba ya…

    anyway, ya sabar2 ya may. biasanya orang yang kayak begitu itu mungkin mereka lagi ada masalah sendiri. makanya jadi ngeselin gitu.

  5. Wah… si enci jahat juga ya sama lo. Gw menemukan, di Singapore emang banyak orang rude kaya gitu. I dont know… gw sih baru pernah tinggal di 3 negara yah. Tapi somehow gw merasa justru di Singapore yang banyak orang kaya gitunya. Maybe, its the community yang mengecilkan arti kata “sorry” secara general. Yah May, saatnya melatih kesabaran, right??

  6. Not possible to disagree with your message.

    One little side note though.

    I know, I know, we all should be polite and patient. At home and especially in public places.But then, our species has not been made for overcrowded environments. It’s just in human nature to claim some free space between ourselves and others. Breaches of those borderlines make us irritable. So occasionally all of us explode.

    But I think in as long as the explosion is just verbal, not physically threatening, it’s not that bad. It’s all in the game of urban life.

    • Jerry! Are you saying you’re not at my side?! I can’t accept this! Just can’t!

      Hahahaha.

      Yeah yeah I understand that, but seriously it is IMPOSSIBLE to go out on a weekend without being overcrowded here in singapore. Seriously. I sometimes think we even need to pay for O2 here in singapore. :( so sad.

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