Yesterday an old friend from my college texted me, telling me she’s in Singapore for couple of days and whether I wanted to meet up. Then I replied “I’m free tonight.”
Let me tell you about my college. It was the best four years of my life. I have never experienced living my life with such scarce allowance money yet laughter were always around. I was anak kosan, living in a spooky house with 8 other awesome girls which later I called a family. I was a chief of organization called kakak asuh which I’m very passionate about, I loved my major and especially I love my campus.
I was a Political and Social Science student and everyone knows my campus is the best of throwing party. We had tried to go to Law Campus’ party, Engineering students’ party, Architects’, Chemical Students’ even the lousiest Economic students’ (Sorry Bandi) and no campus has better party than ours. Our major was technically throwing party and events and fund-risers every freaking month! I have never even once being dormant without planning anything until my last semester. And believe it or not, as much as so many ganks were being created, we all were getting along with each other. My campus is super awesome, even my nerdiest friend wasn’t get bullied, we asked a copy of his notes instead. :p
Bottom line is: College was the greatest time of my life. If there was a genie asked me to freeze time when I was in college, I would totally proceed that!
But time never stops, it flies instead. And growing up sucks. We all graduated and the magic time has fade away. It’s time for the real life. The life that we thought we had figured it out.
And to quote my friend yesterday night: “And here we are, twenty seven years old, and haven’t figured even a freaking little of it out.”
“Shit. We were wrong.”
We were a politic students, we always talked fancy words and thought we are the smartest and we would be more likely to rule the world than any other students. Yeah it’s true some of my friends really turned to be diplomat but how about the rest of us?
Here I am, turning twenty seven, not married, not even planning it, not doing my dream job in UN or teaching, not even close to it. I am nowhere I thought I would be. Obviously I put too high of expectation towards myself.
I went home feeling the paradox of sweet nostalgic and a big worry yet when I met Bandi he said, “you always have this glow everytime you meet your college friend.”
Bandi first met me on my glorious day when I was still a going-to-save-the-world-idealist. I was pretty awesome back then, agreeing to every cause I heard and never got tired (I mean physically. Geez what were college kids made out of?) I could stand up all night TALKING with friends on a 24 hours coffee shop ordering only one cup of lemon tea until 6 in the morning and went straight to my 7 am class!!! Geez! Anyway… Bandi always saw me that way. She adored me and I could see that in his eyes everytime I meet my college friends again.
I’m not in college anymore, I’m an adult now. And I was kinda felt lost last night, I told him that “those were still the best years in my life ever. Now I’m so tired, I just wanna go home and sleep.”
However he asked me to accompany him doing push ups which turned to be a very good talk. It was started with the things I talked with my friend on the sushi restaurant. It was about Sheryl Sandberg’s book of how to juggle between work and being a mom. I told him I could never do that because I’m too worried about my future kids and that it’s all coming back to choices. Then we talked about college days (again) and we laughed a lot.
Bandi and I laughed a lot, in the middle of the night, when all of our roommates are soundly asleep, reminiscing about who hooked up with whom, who ended up with whom and stuffs like that. Minutes turn to hours and it was suddenly midnight. And we remember… we used to do this almost everyday back in the days… we could talk all night and laugh and giggle and bet stupid things. And how I forget about it lately.
We are so caught up with work lately, he, especially, prioritizes his work and his study above everything else now and we were kinda disconnected. And a good talk happened in the perfect time. I remember why I stick around with him these years. I remember how we are so great of being best friends. I remember how I loooveee talking to him. He was my best friend and he still is. He could erase my worries away just for being there, doing nothing but just talking to me about anything.
How could I say mean things to him like “Never mind, you won’t get what I’m saying anyway.” or “Guess I already talked about it with Strawberry.” when actually I was the problem all along.
Maybe I am mad at myself, or at the world for not turning the way exactly like I planned. Yeah I’m not working for UN right now and it’s not his fault. Reality bites me and people change and I got angry.
I am freaking twenty seven, shouldn’t all this happen when I was teenager? Geez.
Today I told Strawberry about yesterday and she reminds me about something important, that we were having so much fun back then but now life is still pretty awesome. It’s just different kind of fun.
She’s right. It’s a different kind of fun.
So, to sum up this post I’m gonna go philosophical using the Candy Crush theory.
Life is like Candy Crush. It gets harder as your number gets higher, but you don’t want to stop. You keep going on no matter how harder it gets. Even though you fail some times, you don’t give up but you try again. Again and again until you move up. You just keep going up, no matter what happens.
Well, a good talk might not happen everyday, but I’m glad I had it last night. It’s definitely going to our top ten favorite moments. =)
May, moving on.