It’s more than just missing the flight

DISCLAIMER: This will be a very wordy heavy post… and personal.

Yesterday morning my mind was full of so many wonderful things to be blogged once I reach Singapore. 5 days of holiday with constant eating and chatting with friends and family left me with so many stories to tell, but then something happened.

A thing that struck me as a lightning that shit does happen. Our lives, no matter how prepared all our plans are or how many insurances we buy, would still be encountering shit moments like these. So this is the story…

Bandi reached my home at Jakarta from Palembang around 10 in the morning. We were planning to just hang out in my house because both of us were physically tired. Our next plane to Singapore is at 6.45 in the evening, so we have a lot of time to just rest. However after I finished packing, I said, “Koper masih kosong nih. Beli apa yuk, biar penuh!”

I always bring my yellow big luggage everytime I go back to Jakarta because I always bring so many stuffs for my mom and my niece and only bring like 3 pieces of clothes so the luggage will be empty when I return to Singapore. Usually I will fill it with Rendang and other Indonesian food, but because this holiday I ate like a pig, I reconsider that. So this time I feel it would be wasted if I didn’t use the 20kg allowance. So Bandi asked my brother if we could borrow his motorbike, then my brother gave him the STNK (official ownership letter of the vehicles) and the key. Bandi and I went to the nearby supermarket and shopped for some household supplies (because the price is much cheaper in Indonesia) to fill the hole in my luggage.

Around 3:30, my friend Yofie picked us up and sent us to Soekarno Hatta Airport. On the way in the airport we listened to a preach from a Christian priest about family ties, that a covenant relationship belongs to husband and wife, not to parents and kids. My friend Yofie is Catholic, I’m a Buddhist, but this priest talks logical sense so I enjoyed his preach. I actually agree with him that the relationship between partners (in his case must be husband and wife) must be strong BEFORE they become together so that they don’t marry with the wrong reason, such as marry because looking for happiness, because that would be wrong. The priest also said about marriage must be like two persons becoming one and have a synergy, so they become stronger once they become together.

Half hour later, we said goodbye to Yofie and then we checked in our luggage. We had a post-hometown fight, which is a syndrome whenever Bandi went back to his hometown and got pressured with all the “WHY DON’T THE TWO OF YOU GET MARRIED YET?” questions, and this time was worsened because his two best friends are announcing their wedding this year. These two guys met their girlfriends not even longer than our Long Distance Relationship period and they planned the wedding already. Bandi was bummed and we argued again. I told him to sit down and talk because I had a news that would probably make him so angry he could kill me. We sat on a noodle shop and I told him that I still wanted to do something that would postpone any plan of marriage in the next two or three years, my own personal achievement that doesn’t concern him. He thought it’s a selfish move so he was bummed, again. And again, we had the same convo about this different perception about marriage and he again, gave me another ultimatum.

Then something happened. He took out something from his pocket. It was the STNK of my brother’s bike. SHIT. He forgot to return it and now, 1 hour and 45 minutes from our flight back to Singapore, he must return it. Long story short, because my brother is such an ass, he didn’t wanna take the STNK so my Dad said he would wait at the exit of airport toll so Bandi could give it to him. This is a very possible plan because from airport to the nearest toll exit to my house would only take 15 minutes. WE FORGOT THAT THIS IS JAKARTA.

So Bandi went off only with his passport, boarding pass and wallet. I didn’t notice that he left his green backpack on the noodle shop’s stool. Anyhow, I was waiting impatiently for the next 1 hour and 15 minutes and when it was announced that the flight to Singapore has reached its last call, I decided to storm out from the noodle shop and ran like crazy. I couldn’t contact Bandi until I sat inside the plane. He called me and said he just reached the airport. Later on I found out from his story that it really only took 15 minutes to meet my Dad but then it took him 1 hour plus to come back to Airport because there had been a strike so it was a total jam. He managed to took Ojek and ran to the airport but still couldn’t make it.

I asked the flight attendant not to close the door because the person they’re waiting is already at the gate, but they said it’s their decision not to let him in. I said, “Then I want to go down from the plane.” But they also didn’t let me. So I finally flew all the way to Singapore with a worried heart.

I opened my handbag and I saw a “Habibie & Ainun” book so I read it, finished it during the 1 and half hour flight. This is like another sign for me that universe wants me to really think about the synergy. Habibie and Ainun are two persons that have the synergy among them. Together they are stronger, happier and completed. This is the only thing that could make a couple lasts forever. I shed a tear reading the book, thinking of how Habibie would cope after Ainun’s gone, and I realize, there is only one person that would make me be devastated if he’s not around, and that person was left in Soekarno Hatta Airport.

I arrived in Changi and turned on my phone ONCE the plane landed (this is something that I never do and I hope won’t need to do again). Bandi texted me saying that he could only take the 10pm flight and would reach Singapore at 1 am after midnight. He bought any ticket that could bring him home that night because my two other room mates won’t be back until next Sunday, which means I would be home a lone. He knew I had a trauma being home alone so he did take the last flight to be back home. I was relieved until I knew that the worse part is this… he mentioned: I got the two of the luggage with me, so don’t worry. Anyway, let me know if you had my backpack with you.

I WAS STUNNED. Shit. I don’t have the backpack.

Air Asia is so stupid that they took out both of the baggage and left it in Jakarta. One of the luggage is belong to me and now that they gave it to Bandi both, it means that Bandi must find a flight with 30 kgs luggage. (later on I found out from Bandi’s story that he didn’t find any last minute flight that have more than 20kgs luggage so he must tip the seller). But the most important thing is, I don’t have the backpack with me.

I called him straightaway and told him that the backpack was not with me. He was angry knowing that I left it in the noodle shop. I told him I didn’t notice that and it wasn’t my fault and I was angry too. I knew the backpack is very important, not because it contained his ipad but it contained his original birth certificate and family registration which he brought for our PR application. Complying the facts that the backpack was already left bare for two hours and it’s Jakarta, there were only slim chance we could get the back pack back.

I felt like wanting to cry. Why does it all happen so badly? I literally asked universe the night before to send me a signal whether he’s the one, whether I should just let him go because he wanted to settle down and have a family and I’m nowhere near that, whether I should reduce my ego and stay with him. AND IT HAPPENED, like showing me that everything is as messed up as this trip, just in a second.

You know how much I believe in signs.

It was happening so fast and everything was like perfectly directed by the universe. The preach, the marriage talk (again), the STNK, the strike that kept Bandi to fly with me. The green back pack. Everything.

I went back to home by bus, it was 10 o’clock at night already. A text message was received, saying “I got the back pack with me. I went back to the noodle shop and the security kept it for me. Everything is okay. You just go back home and sleep, I’ll be home soon.”

There was this imaginary rocks being lifted up from my shoulder. I said prayer and gratitude in my heart and once I reached home, I did a night chanting. Somehow I was being reminded by the universe that, Yes, things could be as shitty as this, you would always encounter bad situation but how we face it is different thing.

For me, I faced it so horribly bad. I was shouting at Bandi and he (even though not shouting) couldn’t stand me as well. This got me thinking, after 7 years together, we still can’t have the synergy among us, or it’s just a very bad day.

Bandi reached home around 1:30. The sound of someone at the kitchen woke me up, so I went out from my room and saw him. He hugged me and suddenly everything was good again. We sat and talked.

That if he managed to catch the flight with me, no one would take his green back pack and he would lost his birth cert.

But then, what if I didn’t leave the back pack at the first place?

Then, what if he didn’t need to go back at the first place?

What if he didn’t forget to return the STNK at the first place?

What if we didn’t need to fill our luggage with household supplies at the first place?

So many what ifs.

It took us hundreds of what ifs until we finally said, “But thank god everything is okay now.”

Thank god I found the back pack.

Thank god there were still other flights for me to catch.

The most important things is…

Thank god we’re here now, safe and sound.

During my flight to Singapore, Bandi wrote an email and sent it to me. I received it once I touchdown Singapore. Here’s a peek:

Dear Meitri,

What a day!!!!

I dont know what happened today. How did it happen. How could it happen. Why did it happen. It happened so suddenly fast. Honestly, i did my best to reach that terminal. I reached it 10 min before the time but they did not let me in. I shouted and i begged them to let me in. But nothing happened. Then i saw ur text about leaving me.
I was like stunned. I was like a total crazy person. Running all across terminals like setrikaan looking for ticket from garuda till singapore airlines.

Finally i got it and all my pressure was gone. I felt lifted but weird in the same time. I just want to tell u. I love you and everything i do, i do it for you.

I wont let u be alone in the valentines day. I see u when i see u baby. Hope you wont run away from me. And please do not put me on pressure like that again.

Note: i brought both of the baggage. Please let me know if u have my bag with u.

Love, tired and really need a hug to recover from this chaos and mess


I realize one thing, the thing I’m always questioning this past one year. For him, I’m still his everything. And it took this crazy 5 hours of constant worries for me to be refreshed. I only have one more homework now. WHAT DO I WANT IN MY LIFE. It’s time for me to find out to either take it or leave it. I HAVE TO MAKE UP MY MIND.

I would pray more and hopefully found the answer soon.

This post is very personal for me, I don’t mind sharing it with friends and readers.

One cheerful thing (because I’m a Sanguine) to close the post is this thing I found on my desk this morning at office:

My Manager said "For prosperity and happiness" Hear hear!

My Manager said “For prosperity and happiness” Hear hear!


May with her stupid ego.

18 thoughts on “It’s more than just missing the flight

  1. May, baca postingan lo yang ini kaya berasa lagi baca novel singkat deh hehe. Bandi so sweet banget ya. gw terharu baca email dari dia yg terakhir itu. You’re lucky to have him as your partner hehe. Semoga lo bisa cepet nemu solusi dari pertanyaan2 lo itu yah, moga2 PR nya cepet kelar :p

    Btw asik bener dapet angpao dari si bos!! mauuuuuu… *mupeng

  2. hmmmm yeah you really have to make up your mind… :)

    sorry to say ya, but i think what you do to bandi is not fair for him. at all.
    menurut gua, lu bener2 harus sesegera mungkin mikir bener2 dan decide what do you want with your relationship. bandi jelas udah tau what he wants and i think what he wants is very normal and expected in every serious relationship.

    once again, sorry ya. i totally understand if you hate reading my comment or even if you delete it. i just want to share my opinion. that’s all. :)

    one thing that might help, you may want to try to think what will happen to you if he was out of your life. please just think about it…

    • Arman… Thank you for being honest. I appreciate your honesty and to be brave saying this to my face. You’re right. And I know I really have to make up my mind soon. You’re a guy, it doesn’t take a genius to know I’m being unfair to him. I know it’s all about me, that is why I have to make up my mind. Oh repetition of shits in my mind. Bummer. Thank you again though :) you just level up from a stranger who has a uber cute kid to a fellow blogger who really cares in my heart.

  3. A tale of modern horrors. I’m really sorry for the nerve breaking inconveniences you experienced. But, to be honest, you’re a lucky woman having Bandi who obviously is an angel ( would he have been a Roman Catholic he would even qualify for a saint :))

  4. …..oke, abis baca, gua lumayan speechless, and I don’t know what to say because for me, myself, that marriage question is also one of the thing that always keep bugging me whenever I think about the future. Thanks for sharing this story. It was a precious experience which each one of us, your readers, can reflect at.

    I hope you found your answer soon, May =)

  5. Sweety..what a hefty experience you had! but thank God that it all has passed ya? :) Marriage..oh marriage..Kl boleh komen, sebenarnya kalian tampaknya emang belong to each other. Suami gw jg dl yg made up his mind after a couple of weeks dating. Setiap berantem & gw nya yg sll ngancem bakal balik Indo and never return to holland soil again lah tp dese bs dgn sabarnya ngeyakinin that I am his everything (like your Bandi) walo problem qt agak beda ya (lain agama). One day it got me,oh tuhan what the hell am I doing gt loh lha wong for all this time gw mau jumpalitan dia terus & always support gw,jd nothing will change kl kita nikah, he will be this understanding jg. Dan pastinya semua akan lbh indah krn apa yg pengen gw capai (walaupun itu gda hub nya sama suami gw samsek) gw mencapai nya dgn dia di sisi gw. Take your time & follow your heart :)

    • Maap kepencet send button nya :(. Intinya adalah.. pengalaman gw nyerempet2 sedikit sm yg loe alamin skrg. you both are blessed & you both have made it this far! now what you have to do is to take your time and follow your heart :)

      • Oppie, thank you for the warm supportive comment. Sama banget, gue juga pake acara beda agama sama dia dan dua2nya faithful sama agama masing2. Dulu di indo lumayan bikin rese tapi yah once move abroad ternyata bisa dijalanin sendiri2 malah jadi makin tinggi komprominya :)
        Iya somehow i know he’s the one dan panjang banget (bisa tujuh hari tujuh malam) untuk menjelaskan ke dunia kenapa gue nggak mau (atau belum mau) married. Gue tau dia orangnya tapi failed marriage bukan cuma karena married the wrong person, tapi juga married with the wrong reason. Gue cuma maw make sure that I will marry the right person with the right reason. I know it’s not fair for him but i know i will make this right. Gue sangat can relate to waktu baca blog lo dan ketika u finally married him I read your post with goosebumps all over me. I want that too, pie.. You seem so sure and Content. :)
        Bantu doa yah someday I’ll be in that position too, walking down the aisle with contentment. :)

  6. Aih, skrg keliatan content cobak bbrp thn sebelumnya aduh..(isi sendiri) Gw bantu doa ya..ternyata sedikit sama nasib percintaan kita ya. Kl mo curhat japri gw aja ya?<–ga basa basi, akuh ga demen basa basi. Hugs!

    • Hahaha butuh nih tawaran curhat untuk saat2 genting. I have ur email kok. :) dan kenapa di email itu lu punya nama belakang?? Bukannya nama lo satu doang? (Kayak gue lagi) makanya once married bisa gue colong tuh nama belakang si bandi! Eh tapi ini mah very very wrong reason! :D

  7. Hi May, what a day indeed huh?
    I can totally understand being nowhere near ready. I personally believe that marriage is a hefty commitment, one that should only be made when you are truly positive that it is the only thing you want, and that there is no other alternative. I think the concept of “self interest” in marriage becomes somewhat of a blur., a grey area; like it certainly is still there, but where do we draw the line? (something I still ponder myself as well.) It certainly is a lot more feasible to pursue self interest before stepping in the marriage mansion, where everything becomes a “we”, an “our”, an “us”, instead of an “I”. Doubt is a very natural part of life and I’d say, embrace this time of your life. Sounds to me like your life is in transition, and although it may feel a bit chaotic, it is a beautiful time. Part of being in your twenties, you know? Navigating through career, marriage prospective and all that jazz.

    That said, I hope you find clarity and your answer, and whatever it is, I am positive you’ll make the choice that is best for you both. Thank you for sharing something so profound, you got me thinking a lot of things this morning. :)

    And, a happy belated Valentine’s Day to you! If you both do get hitched, post some wedding photos too, will ya? heheheh.

    • Very very true. The idea of being “we” instead of “me” scares me a little because I’m a very selfish person and my married friend once said “selfish person should never get married” and she’s selfish and she seemed regret.
      I still have a lot of thinking and self understanding to do to finally take the step to the aisle.
      Thank you for your wise insight, Wu. Really appreciate it. :)

  8. Hi Mey, maybe Im not the best person to comment. Because I never been in the position, else than beda agama & you’re right, kalo ga tinggal di Indo itu bukan masalah.
    One thing I wanna share, marriage itu bukan cuma ttg punya anak & beli rumah bareng (well Im not doing my marriage life that way). But more than that. I dont know what your hesitation is (or are). Tapi, gw liat2 kayanya sbnrnya lo bukan ga yakin sama Bandi-nya kan?? I just wanna tell you that marriage is also about giving a solid proof about your relationship to your partner & to the world. For example, me and my husband are married, but we are still living the “pacaran” style. Ga tau sih gimana jelasinnya. Gw bisa jelasin tp bakalan super panjang, gak pantes banget buat jd “komen” hehehe… I hope you understand what I mean. Moga2 lo cepet dapet jawaban yang lo tunggu ya..

    • If “living the pacaran style” means masih bisa maen sama temen2 kayak jaman pacaran then I 100% agree with you. =)
      I can sense that from your posts Di… That’s why I blogwalk to those blogs that have positive writings about marriage and how married life is a happy life. I have a doubt in my heart about marriage and my parents created that. Ini juga bakalan panjang kalo dijelasin but I’m progressing towards the bright light now. I have a perfect man for me and I’m sure I’m on my way there. I’m just a late bloomer. =)

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