CHEATING


I am a Taurean. They said Taurean will always be in love with one person only and that Taureans are loyal lovers.

True and False.

True, because I always find my Taurean friends to be romantic. Once a Taurean loves someone head over heels, then s/he is sold!!!

False, because I was cheating once.

I did make a post of this “CHEATING” story and had to delete it because they said people will get hurt. I don’t know who are this PEOPLE they are talking about. But I deleted anyway. However I saved the post on my laptop, just in case I missed to read the story.

What is cheating?

Since this is my blog, it goes with my definition of cheating which is:

Having a romantic affair (whether physically or mentally) with someone who is committed with someone else, or when you are committed with someone else.

So, if you are a single person, go ahead and be a slut. Date as many as guys you want, I won’t judge you. I might as well cheering you up! Whooo!

Technically, in my terms and my definition of cheating, my story six years ago WAS NOT CHEATING. Because as soon as I found out that I fell in love with this other guy (who I was cheating with), the first thing I did was breaking up with my boyfriend (who I was cheating on). And anyway WE WERE ON A BREAK! (I reaaally understand Ross’ feeling) I felt that it was the fair thing to do. I hate cheaters. I didn’t wanna be one of them. So, I broke up with my boyfriend, in order to be with this guy I impulsively fell in love with. A guy whom I just met the other morning, whom I just knew for less than 24 hours. But I followed my heart. That is why I did the right thing.

Enough with the self defense, so, why suddenly I write about cheating?

Lately I found a lot of people involved with cheating gestures, actions or behavior. Physically or mentally. in conscience or accidentally. impulsively or in plans.

No matter what the excuses are, when the actions cause someone to get hurt, then it is wrong unacceptable.

So, didn’t I write excuses as well? Yes. It was excuses. No matter how many posts I wrote about my excuses, the bottom line is, I was cheating. I hurt someone I loved, so bad. And I have learned.

That was the most hurtful yet priceless lesson I’ve ever had in my life. That whatever the reason is, you CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING that cause other people to get hurt.

Cheating >;;<;; Commitment

I’ve been in a relationship for 6 and half years now, but I must say I started the committed relationship only about 4 years ago. The first 2 and half years of our relationship was plainly (crazy) love. When the passionate love started to fade away, and when we started Long Distance Relationship, that was when I knew either I had to be committed or let him go. And I couldn’t imagine living my world where he didn’t exist, so I decided to be committed.

Bandi and I had a veeeeeeeery long talk when we knew we were about to commit to our relationship. About what considered cheating, about how do we avoid cheating and stuff. We know the biggest challenge of Long Distance Relationship is cheating, especially for me, the drama queen.

We had found out that actually, CHEATING IS AVOIDABLE. This conclusion came out after a veeeeeeeeeeery long talk.

How to avoid cheating in a committed relationship?

Well, I’m not an expert of relationship. Who am I, dare to speak about this? (geez May, you cheated once) THAT IS WHY I KNOW WHY I SHOULDN’T DO THAT IDIOT.

I also know actually I could avoid that, but because I was young and naive and so dramatic, I didn’t. (Anyway that’s totally a different post.)

So let’s focus on, how do you avoid cheating?

  1. Cheating is always in conscience, that is why, even the most idiotic naive person, knows that she (I’ll use female object here) is about to cheat. And yes, it is exciting. That is why she didn’t stop. You know what, STOP! Stop the denial that “I’m just being nice” and “flirting is not cheating”. You know it is in your conscience that you have this exciting feeling towards this other guy, it will lead to cheating, TRUST ME. STOP IT RIGHT THERE. The first step is to be true to your conscience, that you are attracted to this other guy.
  2. Tell your boyfriend, or if you’re ashamed of how slutty you are (in this case I assume your boyfriend still sees you as a falling angel) and you don’t wanna ruin the image, tell your best friend. Tell your best friend that you might have this “feeling” towards other person. Your best friend will try to distract you to getting closer to this guy, physically or mentally. Remember, cheating is not only kissing other guy, it is also, thinking about other guy. When you fall in love with other guys, whether you haven’t kissed him, it’s still hurtful. For me, I told Bandi straightaway when I felt like liking other guys, or getting to close to other guys. Because Bandi never prohibits me from going out with guys, sometimes I took it for granted (especially during LDR), so this case likely to happen. What I did was, I told him that I got closer with this guy and I felt funny. Then I would stop seeing this guy. Stop being in contact with him, hopefully, the feeling will started to go away.
  3. Trust your boyfriend’s instinct. (unless he’s Edward Cullen). If he feels uncomfortable with you being too close with some guy, then he is probably right. You are indeed too close with this guys, no matter if this guy is “But he’s my best friend since kindergarten!” or “But he doesn’t have any feelings for me (denial *cough* denial)”, your boyfriend’s instinct is right. And if you still respect your boyfriend, give him some credit. Don’t get too close with guys whom your boyfriend is not comfortable with.
  4. TRUST. This is the most important things in a relationship (followed by personal hygiene and great sex –>;; quoted from Gossip Girl). Once Bandi went road trip to Houston (or some other city in USA I couldn’t remember) with other five girls. He is the ONLY guy on the trip, driving for the girls and took care everything for them. They slept at the same room FTW! When he explained to me the formation of the group and asked me if I was okay with it, I said yes. I knew Bandi will never ever do anything (or impulsive things) to hurt me. Even though I kept on checking on him throughout the trip like an obsessed girlfriend, I managed to trust him at the end of the day. Trust is a mutual feeling. When you trust him, then he will definitely trust you back. When you don’t trust him, then I CAN BET he doesn’t trust you either. IF you guys don’t trust each other, you are having a HUGE problem.

What if the damage was done?

What if you are one naive idiotic hypocrite bitch who even though already knew the cheating was about to happen, didn’t stop? (yeah I’m swearing at myself too) What if you finally kissed him? Or worse, you finally fell in love with him? (I, personally think that physical cheating like one night stand or drunken kiss are not as damaged as being in love with another guy.)

What should you do? Easy. ADMIT IT. Not via whatsapp or phonecall! Go meet him face to face and say it, “I fell in love with another guy.” AND DO HIM A FAVOR, BREAK UP! Don’t be all like “I’m so sorry I won’t do it again. Let’s start over…” PUH-LEASE, so you can just break someone’s heart and start over like nothing happened?

If you fell in love with another guy, go ahead with that new guy. Because you only deserve someone who ‘steal’ you. Remember that all my friends’ relationship that started with this ‘stealing’ or CHEATING things never end happy ending.

If she started a relationship with you cheating on her boyfriend, what would you think you’re so special that she won’t do that again to you, dear? Well, guess she’s not that naive at all.

Rich Men and mistress

This is one unavoidable topic from cheating. A CHEATING HUSBAND. He will be forever sworn and screwed by society when he was poor. But it is okay for rich men to cheat on his wife? WTF$%*&$@$(*!!!! All of the bad words in this world won’t be enough to be thrown at these men!

I don’t care if you are richer that Donald Trump or if you pooped gold or you wipe your ass with a hundred dollars bill, IT IS NEVER OKAY TO CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN BUY THOSE GIRLS PRADA BAGS!

I don’t even wanna get started on those girls who are more suitable to be their daughters than their dick money suckers. I don’t care if you used the money to donate to WWF or feeding sick kids, if I were the sick kids, I better be dead than being alive. IT IS NEVER OKAY GEEZ, NEVER!

So, I think I must wrap up my judgmental post for today. That cheating is never okay, and this post came out from a girl who was accused cheating by so many people. Again, I wasn’t technically cheating. LOL. And one more veeeeeeeeeery important thing: Cheating is avoidable.

Cheating is not a mistake. It is a choice.

And yes, what I did 6 years ago was a choice. No more self defense and excuses, it started to get boring.

However I always believe the motivation is what’s important of any actions. So let go off your naive mind and think clear for a moment, what’s your motivation behind this act? Is it purely love, romance, excitement, or you’re just plainly a slut?

Adios!

May.

9 thoughts on “CHEATING

  1. Can I “like” this more than once? Hahaaaha..
    The “slut” over there has to read ur blog..!!!!
    Omg, I can say the word “slut” straightforwardly here… hahaha…

    I hv a lot of questions actually, maybe i can ask u via msg fb, hehehe..

    Allow me to share this… thx.. :-)

  2. I agree with you. A lot of people cheat today (see the news, for the proof) and only few are brave enough to admit that cheating was their choice. No matter it’s good or bad, you made that choice, cherish it, learn from it.

  3. Just for the sake of argument: wouldn’t life in general and specifically simultaneous love life be much more easy and common if there wasn’t the plaque of jealousy?

    PS. To be on the safe side: I’ve been married to the love of my life for almost fifty very monogamous years :).

    • First of all,
      WOW!
      You have my respect and my sparkling eyes of admiration!
      Being in a monogamous relationship for that long deserves a noble prize. =)

      I agree with you that life would be much better without jealousy. I consider myself very lucky because I don’t get jealous and my boyfriend doesn’t as well. But it is human nature to defend when his/her territory is being threatened. I guess Bush teaching us about his preemptive strike finally became useful. ;P

  4. Pingback: My Daughters Boyfriend Is Not Right For Her What Do I Do | Brandy & The Gang

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