I prefer Sasha Grey than Christian Grey


Two weeks ago, I ordered “Fifty Shades of Grey” online, even though I was being warned by friends that this book is just plainly a cheap porn, I was so curious with what all the ladies were fussing about. Telling on social media of how HOT this Christian Grey is.

I don’t mind reading porn. I enjoy some of the sexy novels with a touch of sexual scenes. I was kinda excited about Fifty Shades of Grey.

Long story short, the book has arrived. I couldn’t read it in public place such as MRT because people would think I’m such a sick pervert. It’s just like watching porn on your iPhone in public place. So I literally spend time for reading this book, sitting comfortably on the couch and actually reading a book. (I usually read books on MRT and rarely spend actual time for reading only.)

The first four chapters consist of how This stupid girl Ana meet Christian Grey, a 28 years old (if I’m not mistaken) billionaire, looks stunningly HOT, mysterious and treat women like a gentleman. This guy fell in love (or lust) at the first sight to Ana. He saves Ana’s life from irresponsible biker (such a cheesy scene), he flirts with Ana, he sends Ana a very expensive first edition books (because he’s rich, he can buy anything), he saves Ana when she’s drunk in a club and almost had casual sex with her friend (I almost puked when I read this scene. CAN YOU BE CORNIER???)

After all the cheap drama of their fairy tale-like meetings and moments, Christian Grey brought Ana with his helicopter (yes he has one) to his buildings, where he lives. I didn’t really read thoroughly of the descriptions of how many storey house (or building), or whatever.

I skipped the pages to the scene where Grey proposed Ana to be his sexual slave. He showed Ana one floor contains all the sadomasochism tools and she answered that she was a virgin! I laughed so hard on that point. WHAT A TOTAL CRAP!

Ana is a beautiful sexy girl (because that’s the only reason why such a hot billionaire is attracted to her, right?) and you expect her to be VIRGIN?? WHAT A CRAPPY FAIRY TALE RUBBISH!

Then I read the first sexual scene, let’s call it porn scene. It’s Ana’s very first sexual encounter and she had it with the most experienced hot, wealthy, guy on his white sheet king sized bed with panoramic view of Seattle. WOW, talking about some writer’s fantasy.

The porn writing is just TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE. OH MY GOD THE CRAPPIEST PORN EVER!

Let me tell you something. I have read classical romantic novels, I also read the sexy modern romantic novel. AND NOTHING CAN BRING DOWN Fifty Shades of Grey as the WORST PORN WRITING EVER.

The sex scene is not sexy at all. The writer ( I didn’t remember her name) failed to deliver the sexual needs of Ana. It’s her first sex ever but I (as the reader) am not convinced it was. Grey was supposed to be seductive and sexy, but he turned out to be this freaky womanizer who made Ana cum with his technical experiences, not with his passion or lust. The writing was also written passionless and more of trashy. IT WAS A VERY LAME WAY TO WRITE SEX SCENE!

I read Alexander Maksik’s novel on his sexual scene between teacher and student. It was passionate and forbidden. And the writing was so DAMN GOOD it made people think it wasn’t forbidden at all. It would make people believe that they’re in love, even though they aren’t. It made people asking for more.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a total disappointment for me. And I spent $13 and my time reading that book until the fifth chapter. I can’t even distribute my anger to this post of wasting my time reading that book!!! People was fussing around to prepare extra batteries while reading this book and I wasn’t even horny.

Mama Mia! Jane Austen is shocked!

I stopped reading it after the first sexual trashy scene and post a selling bid on ebay. Selling the book for $10 or less (as long as it’s gone from my bookshelf because it’s an embarrassment of my Jane Austen’s collections.)

I prefer watching Sasha Grey than imagining this douchebag Christian Grey! At least Sasha Grey is free on the internet and didn’t last more than 10 minutes (and could actually make me horny)! What a waste of time!

So this is my amateur review of Fifty Shades of Grey. Don’t ask me about how I feel on the kinky sex scenes, because I didn’t even have the heart to continue reading the book. So I don’t know.

Just for adding up, for me a good book is not about good plot or a remarkable story. Sometimes you can enjoy a book of a very simple story. Sometimes it’s just an ordinary love story when a boy meets girl. It’s the writing that matters. So this Fifty Shades of Grey has a terrible writing. I must say the plot of a sadomasochist mysterious guy could be really interesting. But unfortunately wasn’t executed well. Too bad.

Cheers,

May.

7 thoughts on “I prefer Sasha Grey than Christian Grey

  1. Nice, funny and passionately angry review!

    So, eh, I guess you would say I should stick to Marquis de Sade’s “Justine”, Henry Spencer Ashee’s (?) “My secret life” or Anais Nin’s “Delta of Venus” for my little erotic literature pleasures ? :-)

  2. Thank you for useful review may. I was going to buy it, but now i have no plan to really buy it hahahaha… Btw, i like the way you write the review :D

  3. HAHAHAHA~ Was gonna point out the same thing as you vin..

    Fanfic can be well written, hell some of the best porn I’ve read has been fanfic, but she is trash. 100% trash. Worse yet it was *Twilight* fanfic..

    (and publishing it, thus betraying fanfic writers everywhere who have vowed to write for fun, not money.)

  4. A girl after my own heart you are, May! I didn’t enjoy reading 50 Shades either. It offends my feminist sensibility, hahaha. Also instead of getting me flustered, it got me so pissed off. I mean, really. URGH. Back in the day I used to read a lot of J-pop erotic fanfics and I can positively say that those fanfics are like, way hotter, better written than this junk.

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