Death ends life, not relationship.


In one week I received 3 news about dying people with serious disease. 2 ends with death. The first one is a cute 7 years old boy named Luke, which is my friend’s son. He finally gave up on his bone cancer after months fighting.

The other one is one of the most wonderful friends I have, Monica Yuan Marchelia. I knew her in 2004 back in our college days and the last time I met her was 2 years ago in a bus back then in Jakarta. The first thing she asked was “how are you and Bandi?”. Knowing that our LDR was okay she answered with relieve, “You guys are very cute. I can’t wait to go to your wedding.”

Now I’m shivering knowing she won’t attend it.

She suffered from 3 kinds of deadly virus and her immunity system keeps decreasing. And I wasn’t even there to say goodbye to her. So, this is my goodbye post for her.

I gotta say, she had touched my life. Our closeness started when I needed support for organizing a charity organization back then in college years. I asked her whether she would like to accept committing to charity works for a year with me. She undoubtly said yes afterwards. We’ve worked together for a year. In a year, it was always me who whine all the time and it was always her to remind me to keep fighting and never give up. I have met the best working partner.
She is a good person. she never intends to hurt anyone. She laughs in a very funny way that when we heard her laugh, we’d automatically laugh along.

We used to work on our paperworks regarding the organization together in her place, spending almost all day. One hour to do the paperworks, six hours talking about love and wimpy heart stuffs and ended laughing about it. She’s a very fun person to be with. That’s probably everyone thinks first thing about her.

After we graduated, we both had Long Distance Relationships and likely to share by messenger. She always reminded me to never ever let go the man I had then. Hope she’s happy to know that I am still with that man and plan to do what she said. :)

She is a good person. No doubt.

Then there goes the question: why bad things happen to good people?
Sometimes the most unpredictable things happen and we’re just not ready for it. I don’t mean to blame universe, I know and sanely believe that everything does happen for reason. but when will be GET the reason? Coz now I can’t seem to find one good reason for this to happen.

If you’re expecting for a wise answer at the end of this post then I gotta say, that you’ll be disappointed.
I don’t know why. I’m still figuring out a lot of things in life, especially this one, about death.
When will we die? What happens after we die? And WHY we die?

In my religion, death is not the end of life. It’s just a cycle, coz we will be reincarnated and be born again… to be a different person.

Why do I need to be born as other person, with other personality? I love myself now. I love my personality, I love my skintone. Can I have these all again? Especially, I want to fall in love with the one I have with me now in the next life.
Why die and change into something different when what we have now is JUST perfect?

What will death teach us?

One sentence from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” releases me from  worries:

Death ends life, not relationship.

Yes, people might die, we can’t do anything about it. The only thing we can do is keep having relationship with them. Talk to them on their graves, pray for them, and keeping their memories alive. Because however the feeling that we have to this particular person won’t change just because s/he’s not breathing anymore. Death only ends her life, not her relationship with her loved ones.

So until the time comes that I finally understand the reason why these all happened, I just gotta keep my relationship with all my lovely friends, dead or alive.

How you doin up there, Yuan? See ya when I see ya!

Love,

May

3 thoughts on “Death ends life, not relationship.

  1. I wasn’t really close to her but she was a good friend. Two of my relatives passed away in the last 4 months in a blink of light… life is like dream isn’t it?

    I used to fear death. but when I remember I could meet my oma again when my time is over, death is not too scary at all.

  2. the fact that her social media account are still active is actually scary, because these days we only interact people through internet. how do we know if they are still alive?

    imagine a situation that her departure was untold, nobody knows she has passed away and someone used her accounts as if she still alive normally, only years later we know she has passed away… the digital world has transformed reality into something strange.

  3. Pingback: I don’t know anything about death. « Sanguine's journal

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